Thursday, March 31, 2005

An Annoucement

The Genius Of Insanity Blog would like to annouce the opening of our European news office!

Mr. Richard Leyland (recently of The Richard Leyland Blog) has signed on to GOI as the UK/Europe news/editorial chief contributor.

Everyone give him a warm welcome as he will be posting on the blog shortly.


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Another Failing Report

Yet another report has been released high-lighting the massive intelligence failures of the Bush administration. The Ironic thing is that this latest report was commissioned BY George W. Bush himself!! This is now the 10th report to cite failures from the top down regarding intelligence for invading Iraq based on claims of weapons of mass destruction. You can find the full article from MSNBC by clicking 'HERE.' I am going to copy and paste a lot of the MSNBC story and add my editorial comments here and there.

President Bush's Comission on Weapons of Mass Destruction is calling for MASSIVE changes in sharing of intelligence between agencies. **GOI Comment**(How is it that an American President does not have the BEST intelligence in the country, if not the world?!! Why would the most powerful and credible person in the United States of America fail to check and re-check the information on weapons of mass destruction before hauling America into a full-scale WAR?!! The Bush administration is just as at fault for the intelligence failure as the CIA or any other agency. I'm sorry but as President you have to have control and understanding of the latest intelligence when making HUGE decisions as to if you are going to invade a country of not. It is TOTALLY unacceptable that we invaded a country and later found out that we were 100% WRONG in our intelligence).

Senate Intelligence Committee Report on Prewar Intelligence on Iraq:
Senators concluded that the CIA kept key information from its own and other agencies’ analysts, engaged in “group think” by failing to challenge the assumption that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and allowed Bush and Secretary of State Colin Powell to make false statements.**GOI Comment** (This report implies that since the CIA didn't challenge the assumption of weapons of mass destruction that Bush and Powell had no choice but to make false statements. Like the President of the United States has no culpability in this matter. This is like the CEO of a company claiming he had NO idea that the company was involved in shady, financial dealings. It IS the business of the President of the country to know what was is going on and to make sound and safe decisions in regards to the security and integrity of the country. That is why HE is the President and not ME!! He was ALLOWED...give me a goddamn break!! This isn't like the President can act like some 4 year old who just goes on instinct. Instinct and "gut decisions/re-actions just do not cut when you're the President of the most powerful country on the planent. I'm sorry.)

Duelfer Iraq Weapons Investigation:
Charles Duelfer, the chief U.S. arms inspector, said he found no evidence that Iraq produced weapons of mass destruction after 1991 and that Saddam Hussein’s ability to develop such weapons had diminished, not grown, during a dozen years of sanctions imposed on Iraq. But Duelfer supported Bush’s argument that Saddam remained a threat.**GOI Comment** (There are A LOT dictators in this world and most of them could be seen as "threats" to America but we do not invade their countries and wage full scale war with them. If that was the case then we would be invading most of Africa, South America and South Asia!)

Sept. 11 Commission:
America’s leaders failed to grasp the gravity of terrorist threats before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, but the commission stopped short of saying the suicide hijackings could have been prevented. While the panel did not fault Bush or former President Clinton, it said both failed to make anti-terrorism a top priority.**GOI Comment** (Yeah, I agree here that both Bush and Clinton failed miserably in assessing the importance of anti-terrorism measures).

Sept. 11 Commission on Aviation:
A portion of the Sept. 11 Commission report said the Federal Aviation Administration received repeated warnings in the months prior to Sept. 11 about al-Qaida and its desire to attack airlines. **GOI Comment** (Yeah, especially when Bush received a memo stating that "bin Laden determined to attack inside the U.S.!!!" Hello??? Anyone home?? That's a pretty big warning sign. I think even I could have figured THAT one out. And yet, a majority of Americans STILL chose to re-elect this wooden post of a man. That scares me about the mind set and political savvy of the average American. Yikes. Needless to say I think the average American needs to read a little more about what their President is saying and doing.)

Joint Inquiry Into Sept. 11 From the House and Senate Intelligence Committees:
The committees’ final report identified numerous blunders, oversights and miscalculations that prevented authorities from stopping the attacks **GOI Comment** (The findings of this report make it sound like the Three Stooges are in charge of our country. Yikes again. Anyone else as concerned as I am about all of this yet?)

CIA Inspector General Inquiry Into Sept. 11 Failures:
The report is expected to find personal culpability for Sept. 11. The top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, Rep. Jane Harman, D-Calif., has called for its release.**GOI Comment** (What are the chances of THIS report being released. It has probably already been burned 3 times over and dumped in the Potomac River outside Wash., D.C.)

Justice Department Inspector General Investigation:
The inspector general investigated handling of intelligence information prior to Sept. 11, including the case of Zacarias Moussaoui, the only U.S. defendant indicted in connection with the attacks. The inspector general is trying to get approval to release an unclassified version.**GOI Comment**(Again, why is this "classified." As a democracy RUN by the PEOPLE shouldn't we have the right to see and read this document?? I doubt it is being classified because it's release would "jeopardize" the safety of the American public. It's more like, it's being "classified to protect someone's ASS. Hmmm, I wonder who??)

Justice Department Inspector General Report on Prisoner Abuse:
The report found that the warden and guards at an unidentified federal prison discriminated and retaliated against Muslim inmates.**GOI Comment**(Oops. Is a democracy not supposed to discriminate and retaliated against people?? )

Church Report Into Prisoner Abuse:
Vice Adm. Albert Church’s report said there was no single explanation for the mistreatment of Iraqi, Afghan and other prisoners under the control of U.S. military personnel.**GOI Comment** (Oops again. I guess no one is at fault though huh? Kind of like how the President was "allowed" to go to war.)

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Fault Line: Indonesia

I have been rather disturbed the last few days with the news of another massive earthquake in Indonesia.

The Guardian has the death toll right now at 430 and some 20,ooo displaced. It seems that some people miraculously survived the tsunami only to die in this earthquake. This area has seen so much tragedy it just breaks my heart. I hope that more money and help will be coming to this area in the following days/weeks. I am going to give a little money to the International Red Cross or a similar agency. If I wasn't poor as a church mouse I would give a lot more. Part of me wants to fly out there today with a one-way ticket and just roll up my sleeves and go to work helping these people dig out and rebuild. I think that the best thing I can do right now is keep them in my thoughts and prayers as I meditate.

I glad that this time Bush commented quickly on this and committed American aid as soon as possible. See, I can say good things about the man from time to time too.


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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Welcome To The Sanitarium

Well, I've done it again.

I have started a new blog for my psycho-schizoaffective ranting and raving because I have decided to dedicate this blog for purely political posts.

Letters From The Sanitarium is the new blog and I hope to see everyone there!!


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Judical Activism or Accurate Interpretation of the Law?

The Terri Schiavo case has many people claiming "judicial activism." In other words people are claiming that these judges in the case have over-reached their authority. First of all, I want to put up a definition of "judicial activism."

This from Paul M. Johnson of the Department of Political Science from Auburn University:

The view that the Supreme Court justices (and even other lower-ranking judges as well) can and should creatively (re)interpret the texts of the Constitution and the laws in order to serve the judges' own considered estimates of the vital needs of contemporary society when the elected "political" branches of the Federal government and/or the various state governments seem to them to be failing to meet these needs. On such a view, judges should not hesitate to go beyond their traditional role as interpreters of the Constitution and laws given to them by others in order to assume a role as independent policy makers or independent "trustees" on behalf of society.

So, we can say that "judicial activism" is not necessarly wrong, inappropriate or a pajorative reference. Thus, in the Terri Schiavo case the judicial branch stepped up and kept Congress (the legislative branch) in check by basically ruling that they had over-reached their constitutional bounds. Some on the far right claim that it is only "liberal judges" who engage in "judicial activism" but that is just plain narrow minded. I do not think that many would say that the Supreme Court of the United States could be considered a "liberal court" and they ruled for George W. Bush in the 2000 election. Futhermore, Judge Greer (who was one of the original judges who ruled in the Terri Schiavo case) is a Christian, Southern Baptist, conservative Republican and yet is being painted as an "evil," "activist judge" "who serves as God" by members of the Pro-Life (Anti-choice) community.

I think that many of these people fail to remember basic civic lessons from high school on American government. It is the legislative branch (Congress, Senate) who make the laws and the executive branch who can veto laws or sign them into law and the judicial branch interprets, explains and applies the laws based on the constitution and previous, legal precedence.

This is a case that is just as much about states rights as it is about personal rights. The Constitution protects not only the power of the state but also that of the individual and the sanctity of marriage.

This Terri Schiavo case has been before some 32 different judges and they have all said the same thing. Are they all "out of control, radicial activist" judges?

Of course not.


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Monday, March 28, 2005

Tom DeLay the Hypocrite

Hyporcite is yet another negative label that can be slapped on (R) House majority leader Tom DeLay of Texas.

Remember how he said a few weeks ago that God had sent Terri Schiavo to the "Pro-Life" movement? Well, it now turns out that Mr. DeLay made a similar decision to pull the plug on his father. I guess it is o.k. for him to allow his father to die with dignity but in Terri Schiavo's case it is not and he "needed" to use the power of Congress to over-reach it's authority.

This from, The Australian News source:

The senior US Republican who led the congressional effort to keep Terri Schiavo alive joined members of his own family almost 17 years ago in allowing doctors to withhold treatment to keep his father alive, the Los Angeles Times has reported.

How ironic and hypocritical.

It seems obvious at this point that Mr. Delay is using this case to try and provide cover for strong charges against him of ethical violations in regards to election laws.

Are people like Tom Delay really who the Republican party want to have as their leaders??


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Sunday, March 27, 2005

To My Christian Friends

I want to wish you all a very happy and peaceful Easter.

To everyone else, I wish you a happy and peaceful springtime.

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Saturday, March 26, 2005

New Blood

The Washington Post has a story today about a rift in the Republican party between economic and social conservatives over this Terri Schiavo case. The polls over-whelmingly show that the public does NOT want federal goverenment intrusion in this case. The story mentions how this public reaction "surprises many lawmakers." Well, get use to it I say because the American people have spoken on this issue and the lawmakers better figure it out or they will find themselves without a job. There were many Democrats, however, who voted for the bill as well. This from the Post story:

Some Republicans said they do not believe the vote to allow a federal court to examine whether any of Schiavo's constitutional rights had been violated will become a political issue, especially since 47 House Democrats voted for the measure, while 53 voted against.

I say vote them all out.

Many of these congressmen/women are up for re-election in 2006 and I say that we vote them all out for new people. It is time that we shake up the powers in Washington and bring in new blood and new voices who aren't corrupted by power of the federal government. I am a liberal democrat but I say vote the democrats out too who voted for this over-reaching bill.

We need "grassroots" "progressive" politicians who are willing to listen to the will of the people and follow that will to get things done. Look to new leaders like freshman Sen. Barack Obama from Illinois for this type of "new politician" who is willing to bridge the divide in American politics and bring this great nation together again. No more "Wasthington insider" bullsh*t. America is tired of the games and wants leaders who actually have a vision of the future instead of preserving the old, unproductive ways of the past.

Bring back fiscal sanity, bring back American credibility abroad and bring back help to the least of Americans who have no where else to turn. Above all bring back the jobs that have left this great country.

We need moderates to lead this country into the future and I say look to John Edwards in 2008 to bring us some new energy and invigoration so that we can look to solve many of these issues and begin again to feel unity and pride in America.


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Friday, March 25, 2005

I Promise I Won't Let It Go To My Head

Your humbler blogger and his humble and looney blog was actually mentioned on CNN?! Yep, you heard that correct. Thanks to my new friend Trey @ Jackon's Junction who brought the cable news nod to my attention. (By the way, hello CNN. Welcome to my brain).

Let me clarify a bit more.

CNN has a show in the afternoon called, "Inside Politics" which I usually watch with regular and sometimes religious, fanatical zeal. Well, on this show they have a segment called, "Inside the Blogs." So, today (of course the day I don't watch) they mentioned my blog!!! Trey @ Jackon's Junction was UBER kind and recorded the clip and sent me the link. (By the way friends, you REALLY should go over and check out his video blog. He is a great watch dog/video blogger who looks at the cable media and other television shows and records great snippets for our viewing pleasure. He has some great clips from the John Stewart show for example. Seriously, go check it out!!).

Anyway, I digress (per usual with my a.d.d. brain) so back to the task at hand. If you should like to watch the clip where my blog is mentioned then here is the link to Trey's page with the link. Once there, click on the bold, "WATCH" label and enjoy! (or not enjoy, it's your choice).


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Question of the Day


Why does it seem that most cops (police folk) have a mustache? Not beards, not goatees, not even the fu-manchu! Nope, mustaches.

Maybe this will help shed some light on this issue. Reuters reports that "police in northern India are being paid an extra 65 cents a month to grow a mustache to give them more authority... However... the shape and style of police mustaches would be monitored to ensure they did not take on a mean look."

Hmmm. Am I am being biased against the mustache? It just seems out of fashion and oh so "1970's." Your thoughts (as always) are welcome. Nothing against cops here, I'm just see a lot of police officers with a mustache. Just curious.

UPDATE: I went back to Blogger comments. I know, I know I like Haloscan too but I just prefer getting those lovely little updates in my email when someone posts. Call me crazy, I know I am. :-)

Posted by Hello

Where's Bush???

I do not think that Bush has said anything about the shooting on the Red Lake Native American Reservation. Believe me I have searched ALL news agencies that I can find looking for SOMETHING.

What's up with that??

He fly's back to Washington D.C. on a moments notice to sign the Congress bill associated with Terri Schiavo but he can not visit the reservation in Red Lake to console and comfort those who lost family members? He would could at least SAY something!! It looks TERRIBLE that he has not said/done anything in regards to that horrific event. When the hurricanes hit Florida he was all over the place down there (of course then he was running for re-election too and Florida was an important state to win). Come on George, say SOMETHING!! He was also late on the Tsunami relief story waiting 3 days before he said anything.

In related news, USA Today reports that Bush approval rating slips to 45%. The lowest of his presidency.

Again in related news. According to the Washington Post, Bush plans on cutting $100 million in Native American programs next year.

Hmm. Now don't you find that interesting??

UPDATE:Bush FINALLY said something this afternoon about the Red Lake shooting but I still feel that he should do more in the light of this situation considering it is the second worst shooting in American history. At the VERY least, send the vice-president. Hey, George!! Maybe cutting $100 million from Native American programs is NOT the best thing to do in light of this horrific event.

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Open Wounds

The last few weeks have been "interesting" to say the least. As some of you may know I spent 24 hours in the hospital because I was feeling suicidal from my schizoaffective brain disorder. Well, the bills are coming in and we now owe some $1500 that we don't have. The ironic thing is that the reason I was feeling suicidal was due to our financial problems. The hospital was hell and it did not do anything really to help me and now we owe even more money. I am waiting on disability funding but that will take at least another two months but probably more like 4 months. My parents have been helping us in the mean time but I feel guilty for taking their money especially since they are in retirement now. They say that they have plenty of money to do this but I still feel terrible. At the same time I know that I can not hold down a job so I'm just kind of stuck right now. I know that change is inevitable, however, and something will come around eventually. Anyway, that's what's on my mind today.

It seems like more and more the middle class is falling away and the rich are getting richer. The corporation elite are running this country and the rest of us just seem to get more and more screwed. There needs to be a new shift of power in this country or we will completely fall apart and become a complete oligarchy (a government which the power lies in the hands of a few, wealthy elite).


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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

(R) Rep.Tom DeLay of Texas Using Terri Schiavo

I was just listening to the Randi Rhodes Show on Air America and Randi just received some audio tapes from a friend recording Tom DeLay last Thursday @ the Family Reseach Council regarding the Terri Schiavo case. In them he basically said that the Terri Schiavo case is bigger then Terri Schiavo and that God sent Terri Schiavo to "us" to advance the political agenda of the "Right to Life" conservatives.

Then she played a recording of (R) Bill Frist saying that this whole issue is about "activist judges." Well, let's see. This case has now been seen by 32 judges (by my count) and are we willing to say that ALL 32 of these judges are "activist judges?" This recent panel of judges in Atlanta was dominated by Republicans!! This is playing politics with this poor lady.

Hmm. This is from the same Republicans who passed Bushes recent budgent bill which has massive cuts in the food stamps program and the school lunches program!! So, I guess they want to "feed" a woman in a "persistent vegetative state" but not the poor or our kids??

These are not the values of the Republicans that I know. WAKE UP America and realize that the extreme conservatives have over-taken the Republican party AND the country.

There are links on the Randi Rhodes show website but I have been having trouble pulling up the website this afternoon. I'll provide those when and/or as soon as possible.

UPDATE: Here's the link to her website. You can listen to a clip of her found in the upper right corner of the page.


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Terrible Dream and Living Wills

I had quite a terrible dream last night.

My wife and I were driving high up in a mountain pass in an old, red Toyota Starlet that I drove when I was in high school. The weather was terrible and it was snowing heavily and it began to freeze to the window. The defrost option wasn't working and so it was very difficult to see the road. Anyway, we made it up to the top but missed the turn off to go to some cabin where we were going to stay. So, we began to go over the top and slide down the other side because this car was old and did not have anti-lock brakes. We ended up pulling the hand brake and somehow ended up stopped on the other side of the road facing down hill. Our hearts were racing as we sat and realized how we almost slid off the road and down the mountain side. About this time a tractor trailer truck pulled up along the side of the road facing us. I had a feeling of fear rise up inside me as a man appeared out of the blizzard and just stood right outside the driver's side window. Sitting in the driver seat I opened the window a crack and said, "Thanks for stopping but we are fine and just 'catching our breath' before we set out again." With that there came a crash to the back window and glass went flying everywhere. We quickly realized that the man had smashed out the back window with a crow bar! With that I started up the engine and pulled out again headed the other way back up to the turn off to the cabin. Progress came slow as we spun up the hill. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw that the man was now in a TANK which he had pulled off the trailer!! We heard a loud, echoing BOOM as he shot a shell at us and it exploded near by in the road. I drove in a zig-zag pattern to avoid the shelling as shells exploded all around us. I finally found the turn off and drove onto the thin, snow covered road. I heard one, super loud blast and realized that it was going to hit close and then I woke up.

As I write this I realize that it does not sound as terrifying as it was but I assure you that it was aweful. I woke up in a sweat.

Anyway, as for living wills. Lori and I have been thinking about this alot obviously with this Terri Schiavo case. We found a good and free living will form on the internet and I wanted to pass on the link for anyone who wants it. Here's the link.


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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

A New Beginning Of Sorts

I have started a 2nd blog that will address Buddhism and it's influence on my life. "The Buddhist Blog" is the name of it and you can find it here.


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I'm No Longer Dying

Well, I think that I am turning a corner on this damn flu bug.

I broke a sweat last night BIG TIME!! I woke up at about 3am and I was drenched with sweat. The sheets were soaked along the length of my body. We had to change some of the sheets and I ended up sleeping on top of a towel so that I would not have to sleep on the cold, wet sheet.

Ew.

I still have the sinus infection and clogged up lungs but I no longer have those damn body aches and extreme fatigue. My lungs are the biggest issue right now. I am constantly coughing but i'm just not bringing anything up. I am weezing when I breath and it sounds aweful but I think its a good thing because it's breaking things up down there.

Anyway, I'll stop talking about my condition because I know that there is nothing more annoying then hearing someone go one about their physical ailments.


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Monday, March 21, 2005

I Think I'm Dying

Seriously, I think that this is the end for me. My head and body ache like someone went to war on me with a hammer. "Officially," I have a sinus infection but I am convinced that I have the flu and bronchitis as well. Not to mention I am sure that the malaria that I "acquired" in Africa is flaring up and adding to the mix. My lungs are tighter then a Republican with funding for social services/programs.

Hehe.

Sorry I couldn't resist.

Anyway, I blow my nose constantly but the source is never ending. It's like Lake Victoria up there in the sinuses and I got the Blue Nile coming out of one nostril and the White Nile coming out of the other. Speaking of my nasal passages they burn like I've been snorting gasoline. Woooo-Weee!!!

I'm sucking down cough drops as fast as I can but my lungs and my cough are not in the least bit impressed. I might as well be sucking on lemon drops. What about energy level? Um, well, is negative a level? I have about as much energy as a 98 year old who just ran a marathon on one lung! I am on some serious anti-biotics but they haven't kicked in yet. Hmm. You don't suppose the drugs are fake do you?? Maybe I'm taking sugar pills??? Nah. This is America where the drug companies have nothing but someone's best health in mind, right?? I mean, the American drug manufacturors would NEVER think about profits over someone's health would they?? Oh, yeah well besides VIOXX huh? I'm probably just paranoid, right? Hehe.

So, here I sit and wait for either my death or a cure. Either way is fine with me as I am not to bothered with dying since it is just another step in the process. This world and this body are transitory and nothing to cling on to.

I'm out.


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Dirty Politics

I have had about enough of this Terri Shiavo fiasco.

There have been a lot of things said about the intentions of the husband but I am not so sure that they are accurate. I have heard that Terri's family suspected that the husband was out to unplug her feeding tubes because he was after money. Well, if that was the case then why did he turn down a million dollars from a third party to sign over guardianship to the parents? By marriage he is her legal guardian and here I thought that Republicans were for the sanctity of marriage??

The majority of the politicians who support leaving her feeding tubes in are Republicans and a memo has been circulating around the Senate proving the Republicans are using this issue for political gain (Click here for full memo from ABC NEWS).

I quote from this memo:

"This is an important moral issue and the pro-life base will be excited that the Senate is debating this important issue."

"This is a great political issue, because Senator Nelson of Florida has already refused to become a cosponsor and this is a tough issue for Democrats."

In addition, Republicans have shouted for YEARS that they are the party to protect "state's rights" from the invasion and intervention of the federal government. As talk show host Randi Rhodes says, Republicans want to regulate the individual and not the corporation where as Democrats want to regulate the corporation not the individual.

Terri Shiavo's case has [up to this point] been heard by 16 DIFFERENT judges and Congress and Senate Republicans are steam rolling over those rulings as if the state of Florida has no rights or authority when it comes to it's own business. Apparently now the Republican's no longer believe in the seperation of powers. They control the House, the Senate, and the Executive branch and when they disagree with a court ruling from a state they just change the rules o fit their political desire and do whatever they want.

I know I have probably stepped on some people's toes with this post but I felt like it was time that I weigh in. Actually, I was not going to comment on it here at all until I found out about this memo from Republican staffers. It is just disgusting to me that Republicans are using this issue to gain political points.

I mean, how low can you go.

I'm done.


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Sunday, March 20, 2005

The Reality of Life

"Our life [as someone said] is not a mystery to be solved but a reality to be lived."
-The Zen of Living and Dying by Philip Kapleau


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Saturday, March 19, 2005

Fly Doctor, FLY!!! Fly and be FREE!!!!!


Found this in the local Colorado Rocky Mountain Newspaper. It is the latest update on the elaborate plan for the disbersement of his ashes. You may not be able to read the article so I am going to quote it here.

"Hunter S. Thompson often said he wanted his remains fired from a 150-foot double-thumbed fist. The metal monument would sit on the Thompson's Woody Creek property and send his ashes 500 feet in the air. The monument is still in the planning, but family and friends say it would be a permanent fixture." Thompson's monument would be almost exactly the same height as the Statue of Liberty. Again quoting from the article,

"The canister will be blasted out of the mushroom stem. The green mushroom would sit in the palm of the Gonzo fist. The mushroom may contain a room: Possibly the world's most unusual and expensive bed and breakfast."

I will be there for the event you can be sure of that and I will report the events dutifully (with loads of pictures to be sure). The attached article mentioned that they will be collecting money to help build the monument. For those interested I will post any and all information as to how to donate on my blog. Apparently "the committee" may have to "consult" with the Federal Aviation Administration. No one wants the projectile canister to blow a bird out of the sky or tag a plane flying overhead or anything. Although I can see HST smiling from where ever the hell he is right now should his remains be the cause of some plane having to make an emergency landing. He'd get a big kick out that i'm sure.

In closing let me just say that this is a fitting and noble way for the "Dr. of Gonzo journalism" to exit this Earthly plane.


---End of Transmission---Posted by Hello

Meditation Group

There is a meditation group in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh here in Fort Collins and I am thinking about joining up with them. I have tried Zen sanghas before but found them to be too rigid for my liking. Too much like the church ceremonies that I grew to dislike and push away but I am hoping that this one will be different. Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of a more "gentle" and balanced Zen then say Rinzai or Soto schools. I am just looking for a place to interact with other Buddhists not some rigid school. So hopefully it will work out otherwise I am back to just my wife and I. Which is really nice too.


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Being ill and The 2nd "Anniversary" of the War in Iraq

I hate when your body can not make up it's mind when it comes to being sick. One moment I have a sore throat and the next minute I don't. One minute I have plugged up sinuses and the next minute I'm blowing TONS of gunk out my nose (lovely picture, I know) but you all get to hear the good, the bad and the gross. Don't you feel lucky???

Anyway, I just want to either be down and out sick or get over this stupid cold thing. I got things to do damn it!! Hehe.

Between Terri Shiavo and the little girl found dead in Florida (It is just AWEFUL what happened to her)--does anyone remember that today is the 2nd "anniversary" of the war in Iraq?? Please take a moment to remember not only little Jessica's and Terri Shiavo but the 1,500 some families who have lost family to this aweful war in Iraq. Please also remember those families in England or other countries too who have lost their family in this war.

Remember how we were led into war on deception and misinformation. How many times did the rationale for being there change? And it is still changing. It seems now that we are there to prop up a government and a people that does not want to protect itself. We will be there forever if we keep stepping up to take the bullets for them. Why would you put your neck on the line when some American is out there willing to do it? At what point do we say that their military and police are capable of taking care of themselves? When do we "kick the bird out of the nest so that it can fly on its own?" Because at some point we need to make that decision. We can not stay there forever. That is colonialism.

We keep hearing that the Iraqi forces are fighting along side the Americans but when are they going to be able to take OVER completely?? This seems to me like it will NEVER happen-at least at this rate. Like I said before, where is the motivation to join the military and police when the Americans will do the "dirty work." Or when police and military recruits are constantly being blown up. I am not too hopeful about the Americans being able to leave anytime soon. There is just such a strong cycle of violence there in Iraq and until the Iraqi's stand up in mass numbers against these terrorists we will have to be there. Look at the Israeli-Palestinian issue. The Palestinians have not been willing or able to defend themselves or beat back the terrorists for generations!! Iraq is ten times worse then the situation in Isreal and could be like Israel for many more generations to come!! These are difficult issues and questions to wrestle with I know but they must be talked about. We must constantly keep evaluating the situation. Are we prepared for an indefeniate occupation because that is exactly what it looks like is going to be the case.

Anyway, I will leav you with my the moment of silence.

May all victims of violence rest in peace.



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Friday, March 18, 2005

Baseball Is Over-Rated and Hurtin'

Baseball sucks.

I mean it really is one of the worst sports out there and this steroids scandal will probably pretty much kill baseball off. Mark McGwire OBVIOUSLY used steroids which was evident during the steroids hearing yesterday afternoon from Congress. When asked if he ever used steroids he constantly said things like "I do not want to talk about the past" and "My lawyer has advised me not to comment" that kind of thing. Sure he didn't come right out and admit to using steroids but he did not deny it either and that makes him look G U I L T Y!!! He might as well of just said, "Yeah I used steroids and that was bad and I do not encourage anyone to follow my path." Either that or just lie through his teeth and say "I have never taken steroids."

McGwire's records will forever now be tainted with suspicion and I for one think that his and Barry Bonds records are an absolute sham. In my opinion, Roger Marris is still the home run king with 61 home runs. I never really liked baseball much before but seeing these over-paid, over-induldged, over-muscled up players whine and act like they were untouchable just made me want to vomit. Baseball is on the way out and yesterday's testimony of McGwire and others is pretty much going to kill it off.

Baseball needs to adopt the drug testing policies of the Olympics if they want to build baseball back to a level of respectability. If they do not follow these proceedures then the game will never be respected again.


---End of Transmission---

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Blogger Neads An Enema and St. Paddy's Day

What is up with blogger lately?? My GOD it needs like 25 bran muffins to get things "moving" again. Blogger use to be a spry, young thing and now it acts like some geriactric with a walker who forgets to take their daily dose of fiber and B vitamins. It needs a serious enema to clean out all the blogs that just sit there day after day without anyone adding anything. Then there are the blogs with all the crazy icons that float all over the place and these "Rainbow Bright" sites (as I like to call them) probably take half the server down just to run all their bells and whistles. Trying to comment lately on any blog has been like asking for permission to drive the family car when you were 16. Sometimes it works but most of the time it doesn't. I feel like I win the lottery everytime that blogger actually kicks into the comment screen.

Anyway, I am still slidding down the slope of sickness and apparently have several razor blades lodged in my throat so that everytime I swallow I am met with cutting, searing pain. Yey!!

Well, It is St. Patricks Day and I guess I am supposed to wear something green or I'll get my ass kicked. As a kid it was that you would get pinched but I think it gets worse as you get older. So much so that by the time you're a senior citizen I think you get stabbed if you don't wear green. Yeah I think that's right. Being Scottish I have never really celebrated St. Patricks Day but it IS a nice excuse to drink oneself into next week so I can't be too upset over it. I mean, any holiday which revolves around drinking until you pass out is o.k. with me. Also, I've never figured out how many beers it takes until you see the leprechauns. I drink and I drink but the only thing I ever see is double vision and fuzzy outlines of people before I blackout. And the gold at the end of the rainbow?? I'll save you a bunch of time looking for THAT because it's a bunch of bullshit. The only rainbow and "gold" that I usually see on St. Paddy's day is my arching, golden rainbow of piss.

O.k., back to the "mainstream media" (I'm jumping around more then an Amsterdam hooker in heat in August). Anyway, last night CNN, FOX and MSNBC were covering the following stories: The Robert Blake verdict (he was found innocent if didn't know), Scott Peterson officially gets death, and I didn't check but I'm sure Larry King was talking with Dr. Phil again. The only news agency who actually covered "the news" (remember that? THE NEWS??) was NBC News with Brian Williams. They were covering "boring" stories like the vote to drill in the Artic National Wildlife refuge, what Bush is up to and the goings on in the rest of the world (who wants to hear about what the REST of the world is up to? I mean, we all know that America is the only important country in the world, right? RIGHT?? **rolls eyes**). NBC News even covered the war in Iraq!! Oh my god remember that??!! I know, I know the Iraq War is SOO last month but hey, I still want to know what's going on over there. Call me crazy!! (It certainly wouldn't be the first time).

That's all for now. I think I'm going to lie down for a bit and read (These days I'm reading, "The Zen of Living and Dying"). Anyway, I better go poop.

I'm out.


---End of Transmission---

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The Sickness, The Media and Paul Wolfowitz

I feel like I am getting sick and it probably has something to do with my habit of licking coins. Either that or I was injected with a secret governmental disease that is being tested for killing off terrorists and squirrels.

My head feels like it is slowly but methodically being filled up with helium and pounds and pounds of cement mix. That and the rave being thrown in my head is still going full throttle complete with a 20 ft. wall of speakers blasting out enough bass to shatter my ear-drums and cause me to go blind.

I'm going to inject green tea and snort some anti-freeze auto-coolant to try and break up the Boa constricter hold on my head.

Anyway, enough bitching about my stinking, decaying shell of a body. Let's talk about the trash that passes for American main stream media. These cable "news" channels are about as worth-while as these cracked-out tabloid shows such as "Entertainment Tonight" and "Access Hollywood." We have record deficits and we are sinking billions of dollars into the black hole of Iraq and yet all the media wants to cover is Michael Jackson's circus and what was Martha Stewart wearing when she came out of prison?

This just in.
Bush says that "private accounts" will not solve the long term problem of social security. HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT A SHOCK?!! You mean, the Bush plan isn't all that it was sold to be? That's a first for George. **Rolls eyes**Hey George!! Maybe some of that $300 billion you've sunk into Iraq would have helped shore up social security? Or what about repealing the tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans? "Crazy, illogical ideas" I know but hey, I'm a "radical, liberal" after all.

Ooo and how about Paul Wolfowitz for President of the World Bank?? Yet another "Yes man" being rewarded with a top position by Bush. Nothing says "we want to co-operate with Europe" like nominating unilateral "war hawk" Paul Wolfowitz to be President of the World Bank.

**Rolls eyes**

This from Financial Times on Wolfowitz:

Mr Wolfowitz was among prominent members of the administration who engaged in a campaign two years ago to assure Americans that the financial costs of invading Iraq would be slight. These assurances were delivered against expert advice.

"There's a lot of money to pay for this that doesn't have to be US taxpayer money, and it starts with the assets of the Iraqi people," Mr Wolfowitz told a House of Representatives hearing on March 27 2003.

"On a rough recollection, the oil revenues of that country could bring between $50bn and $100bn over the course of the next two or three years," he said. "We're dealing with a country that can really finance its own reconstruction, and relatively soon."

In the two years since the invasion, Iraq's oil revenues have totalled $25bn (€18.6bn, £13bn), despite soaring world prices. The cost of the war and reconstruction has exceeded $200bn so far (Actually, make that $300 billion now).

Well, that information certainly gives one confidence that he can handle the finances of the massive and complicated "World Bank" doesn't it??

---End of Transmission---

Ashley Smith, Thich Nhat Hanh and The Cost of the Iraqi War

-Ashley Smith (the lady who turned in and disarmed murder suspect Brian Nichols in Atlanta, Georgia) is only going to get $10,000 of the $60,000 reward offered. I can't figure this one out. I guess she didn't do enough *Rolls eyes* There is one thing that bothered me, however, about her testimony. She said that she thought God led this Brian Nichols to her so that she could talk him into giving up and that God saved her life. I just wonder where was God then when those people were being shot by Nichols? Did they not deserve to be saved by God too? Just a thought.
-I just discovered yesterday that the venerable Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh will be visiting Denver in September so I am VERY, VERY excited. I saw him once before but Lori was unable to attend. This time she will be able to attend and even my parents might be going. If you find TNH is visiting your area I would HIGHLY recommend checking him out. He is an AMAZING person and speaker.
-I hear from Reuters that the new U.S. Embasy in Iraq is going to cost $658 million dollars. The Congress, however, is opposing this "emergency spending." The place is probably going to look like a fortress. I guess America is not going to leave Iraq for a Looooooooong time. Wow, just think how much we could help social security if we could put $658 million dollars into the system. Not to mention the 1.8 billion dollars that will probably be granted by the Congress for "defense spending." And here I seem to remember that the Bush Administration said that the war in Iraq was going to pay for itself. So far the total cost of the war has pushed past $300 billion dollars. Hmmmm, I guess they were off by a few hundred billion dollars. This from an article titled, The 300 Billion Dollar Error. "Compare that to the 385 million allocated for the relief effort following the tsunami. No wonder that many throughout the world now see the US as being far more serious about making war than relieving the real suffering of human beings who face poverty, disease or disaster on a massive scale." For some good perspective (and a great timeline) about the war read this article, "Why We Went In: Version 10.0" by The Center for American Progress.


---End of Transmission---

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Sorry

No post today.
I'm feeling rather kooky.
Should be back tomorrow.
Take care.


---End of Transmission---

Monday, March 14, 2005

Is There ANY QUESTION??

Apparently the authorities surrounding the Brian Nichols case have not decided if the hostage should receive the reward money!!

This from CNN: A $60,000 reward had been posted for Nichols' capture. Authorities said Saturday they did not yet know if Smith would be eligible for that money.

Are you kidding me??

This lady talked to Nichols, gained his trust to where he allowed her to leave. She then called 911 AND she convinced Nichols to give himself up. HOW COULD THERE BE ANY QUESTION OVER HER ELIGIBILITY FOR THE REWARD MONEY???

My GOD!! This lady's husband was stabbed four years ago and died in her arms.

GOOD GOD PEOPLE!!! GIVE HER THE DAMN MONEY!!!!!!


---End of Transmission---

Jury Still Out On Bush Doctrine

Is this the Twilight Zone? Has the whole of America gone looney? The "mass media" have all sold out to the Bush administration. Everyone is afraid of saying anything bad about the President because they might be kicked out of the White House press core or they could face punitive damages for refusing to "out" a source.

Why am I saying this?

Well, lately I've been hearing all this talk that George W. Bush has been right all along with his Middle East policy. For months and months the "media" has been saying how terrible Bush has been in this regard and now all of a sudden they have turned on a dime (I'll be talking about this more in another post). Sure, Iraq has held elections and that is a positive step but it is just dramatics unless the security can not be stabilized. Every day dozens upon dozens of Iraqi's are being killed and most Americans seem to have forgotten or have this attitude that since it's only Iraqi's dying more then American kids now it's not a concern anymore. A fierce and bloody civil war is bubbling on the horizon and people think that Bush has been vindicated? Simply for having an American propped up, puppet election? (Which it was people come on. If it was not for the American military that election day would have been a blood bath and we all know it).

You might say, "Well, they DID have an election and isn't that progress?"

Yes and no. Yes, elections are important but if your goal is to expand freedom and liberty in the world then the election has been a set back. Why? Because the conservative Shia Muslims won a majority of seats in the "new government" and are already making women cover their heads and limiting their freedoms. To this point the The Insider news source says,

"Since the war, life has badly deteriorated for women in Iraq and girls are being forced to wear the veil again." The article goes on to say, "The few women there [at a rally for women's rights] describe how things have changed for them since the fall of Saddam Hussein and the subsequent rise in Islamic parties. Many more cover their hair now, sometimes in belief, often through peer-group pressure or simply to protect themselves in anonymity."

Is this the brand of Democracy that is akin to bringing liberty and freedom to Iraq? Would not freedom mean allowing women the basic choice or wearing the veil or not? Let's face it folks, if you can not even choose your style of clothing without facing serious stigmas and violent reprisals your democratic rights are going to be QUITE limited.

Another reason that the mainstream media [MSM] are drooling over Bush lately has been the issue of Lebanon. Lebanon is demanding the Syrian troops move out of their country and this is a VERY positive thing. There are some conservatives and those in the MSM though who are claiming that this change is a result of the so-called "Bush doctrine."

This from The Dayton City Paper by Bush Affectionado David H. Landon, "Clearly, President Bush’s steadfast belief in democracy and in the desire of man to be free has carried over to the Cedar Revolution. No longer afraid of Syria’s iron grip, they defiantly shout for Syria to leave Lebanon."

Um, yeah. Whatever.

It couldn't possibly be that the Lebanese people started their own revolution could it? That the assassination of their BELOVED former Prime minister Rafik Hariri and the wide spread suspicion that Syria was responsible that NOTHING to do with it. No, apparently all those Lebanese protesters received their orders and inspiration from none other then the American President George "the boob" W. Bush. The Washington Monthly counters this attitude nicely:

The recent progress between Israel and the Palestinians was made possible by the death of Yasser Arafat, not the invasion of Iraq. Hosni Mubarak's acceptance of multi-party elections may well turn out to be a cynical sham designed to put his son in power without inflaming public opinion too badly. And the Cedar Revolution itself was kicked off by the Syrian assassination of former prime minister Rafik Hariri.

The staff here @ GOI have another theory for those who are quick to give Bush credit for the "Cedar Revolution" in Lebanon. We would argue that the "Orange Revolution" in the Ukraine had more to do with the "Ceder Revolution" in Lebanon then any actions by Bush. In fact, Bush only signed onto the revolution once it was rolling well along as if to say, "Oh yeah I did that. I was telling the Syrians all along to leave Lebanon."

Sure, Bush has said some harsh things toward Syria (i'll give him that) but he never called for the Syrian troops to leave Lebanon until the Lebanese people did all the risky work of marching in the streets and now it seems he wants to claim all the credit.

However, we all know better then that.

Don't we.

I say this to Bush. "Fix Iraq and then worry about taking credit for other areas in the region."

It's as if Iraq represents a broken toy for Bush and now he wants to move on to another, more shiny and promising toy in Lebanon.

God.

1,407 days-19 hours-14 minutes and 3 seconds until Bush is out of office.


---End of Transmission---

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Cabin Report

Getting away for the weekend up in the Rocky
Mountians was just what we needed. We stayed at
a place called, "Annie's Mountain Retreat"
(Here's the link if you want to check out the
inside of the cabin. I was a "space cadet" and forgot
my camera so we came back up the next day and
took pictures of all the snow that fell the night before.)

annie's cabin

Our cozy mountain cabin.

devil's backbone

That ridge is called "Devil's Backbone"

snowy

Just about to drive into the "mouth" of the canyon.

james bug

The insane artist himself driving the sporty VW Beatle

lori

The very beautiful and lovely Angel

snowy3

Snowy mountains in the Big Thompson Canyon

snowy4

Winter Wonderland

snowyriver

The cold Big Thompson River flowing down the canyon

welcome

The "Welcome" sign in Estes Park

long's peak

Long's Peak on the right. The Native Americans use to call
it "Beaver Mountain" because it looks like a beaver
climbing up the left side.

elkgroup

A group of cow elk with a younger male seen in Estes

sleeping elk

Shhhh!!! The elk on the right is sleeping

elk2

This cow was only about 5ft away from our car

Anyway, that was our little retreat up into the mountains.
I hope you all enjoyed this little film show.
---End of Transmission---

The Happiness That We Seek

"The happiness we seek, a genuine lasting peace and happiness, can be attained only through the purification of our minds. This is possible if we cut the root cause of all suffering and misery—our fundamental ignorance."

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The World of Tibetan Buddhism

GOI STAFF: P.S.~The cabin was WONDERFUL and EXACTLY what we needed. I'll give you the full report tomorrow or later on this afternoon/evening.

Peace.


---End of Transmission---

Friday, March 11, 2005

Cabin

We are leaving to stay at a cabin up in the Rockies this weekend so I probably will not be posting again until monday. Have a great weekend everyone!

P.S.-I'll take some pictures

---End of Transmission---

Thursday, March 10, 2005

No Crisis In Social Security

George Bush needs to drop his private accounts idea regarding social security. Social security funds were never meant to be invested in the risky, often volitile stock market. Social security has always been an INSURANCE plan so that retiring and disabled citizens can have some form of insured income.

The independent General Accounting Office has even come out and said that social security "does not face an immediate crisis." FULL STORY HERE The story goes on to say that the head of the GAO says that "private accounts" will do little to solve the social security problems. Yet the President keeps going around terrifying people that the system is about to collapse and that private accounts will solve everything. This reminds me of the American fable of "The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf." Where the boy cried that there was a wolf in the village so much that the village started not to listen or trust him. Then one day a real wolf showed up in the village and ate some sheep because no one believed the boy.

Bush keeps trying to say that there are these "immediate problems" but they turn out to be less of a problem then he said. I think we can all remember who he said Iraq was an immediate threat and that we would find weapons of mass destruction. Now he is trying to scare us into these risky private accounts which would require us to borrow A LOT more money from foreign countries JUST to get it going!!

The social security issue does need to be addressed but it can be solved with some minor tweeking. We do not need to completely over-haul the entire system. If we would just repeal the tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans and apply that money to social security we would be a lot further to solving the problem for years to come.

Think about this for a moment before you go firing off a flaming, raging comment about "higher taxes." I am talking about raising the taxes of those who make approx. $150,000 a year or more. This would not affect most of us average Americans. In fact I think that we should keep the tax cuts for the middle and lower classes because it is the middle and lower class who keeps the economy going folks.

The more wealthy Americans should pay more because they gained their fortunes through the wonderful opportunities that America offers and represents. They should pay more to help others achieve a small piece of that "American Dream" that they (the rich) have achieved because of this great country. I would think that Neo-conservatives would agree with this plan of higher taxes to "save" social security if they truly believe in "compassionate conservatism" as Bush constantly calls it.

Sometimes we have to make the tough decisions in order to keep the integrity and solidarity of this great America. Higher taxes for the wealthy would be a minor pain to the uber-wealthy and yet the revenue created from it would ensure that the future elderly and disabled citizens have some dignity and peace of mind.

(steps off soap box).


---End of Transmission---

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Birthday Wishes

Yesterday was my wife's birthday and I wanted to dedicate this post to her.

She is my best friend, soul mate and sweet wife. Without her life would be an unbearable burden and I live to see her smile. I am so proud of her accomplishments in work and in school. She is doing so well and I just can not say enough how much I love her. I am beaming with pride.

She has been an amazing and wonderful support with my illness and I have to hand it to her for sticking with me. I don't know if I would have stuck with myself after all the bullshit that this illness can produce. She is the most patient and compassionate person that I have EVER met and I often find myself looking at her in wonder and awe.

She has the most tender heart and cares deeply for all beings but especially for animals. She has such a soft and beautiful heart for our animals. It brings tears to my eyes to see how gentle and loving she is with animals.

She is a true angel to me and she softens the blows that this illness can fire. I love her with everything that I can muster. I know that I do not have much in this life but anything and everything that I have I give to her. I have her and that is all that I need. The rest of my world could crumble to the ground and I'd be happy as long as I had my wife by my side.

Happy birthday sweetie. I am so so SO happy that you were born and brought into my life. I was forever changed when I met you and I thank you for being patient with me. I have a lot to work on and deal with and you are SO patient with me. I am here for you and I love to see you succeed and be happy. I am excited to grow old with you and spend the rest of our lives together riding out the storms that come.

You amaze and thrill me constantly. I bask in your beauty my sweet, soft angel.

Je t'adore ma paquerette

xoxoxoxo


---End of Transmission---

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

John Bolton Goes to the U.N.

John Bolton has been nominated by the Bush administration to be the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.

According to the Los Angeles Times, "In 2000, Bolton told National Public Radio that the U.N. Security Council needed only one permanent member, the United States, 'because that's the real reflection of the distribution of power in the world.'"

I had hoped that Bush would try to "mend some fences" with Europe (and the rest of the world) during his last trip but now with this nomination he is basically telling the world to "piss off."

David Corn writing an editorial for, "The Nation" said that this nomination was Bush basically giving the U.N. the middle finger (which for non-Americans is a symbol saying "Fuck off"). This from Corn's editorial:

If you were sitting in the Oval Office and George W. Bush asked, "Hey, tell me, who could we appoint to the UN ambassador job that would most piss off the UN and the rest of the world," your job would be quite easy. You would simply say, "That's a no-brainer, Mr. President, John Bolton." And on Monday Bush took this no-brain advice and nominated Bolton to the post.

Bolton is the rightwing's leading declaimer of the United Nations (news - web sites). He once said, "If the UN Secretariat building in New York lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference." (GOI: Which is VERY disturbing given the events on September the 11th). And when the Bush administration failed to persuade the UN to back its war in Iraq (news - web sites), Bolton observed that was "further evidence to many why nothing should be paid to the UN system."

But what message does it convey to the UN and the world to send to the UN a fellow who has essentially called for total defunding of the institution?

GOI: It tells the world that America still sees the rest of the world as "minor players." It also shows that America plans to do whatever it likes despite objections from the rest of the world and from the U.N.

Bolton is yet another Bush loyalist who was appointed to another high position. Bush keeps nominating "yes men and women" who will do his bidding. He is further isolating himself from the world and his own country.

The most disturbing to me, however, is that there are many important issues that are mostly likely going to be before the U.N. (Syria/Lebanon, Iraq, Iran, China-Taiwan) and our representitive going to the U.N. has made it clear that he could care less about the opinions from the other nations who make up the international governing body.

Bolton's nomination to the U.N. is like nominating a HUGE peace activist as the head of our military. It just does not make any sense.

Another bad choice by the Bush administration.

*sigh*

And I was just starting to think that maybe Bush and his circle were actually figuring out how to "play well with others."


--End of Transmission---

Monday, March 07, 2005

Another Day, More Grey

Today is one of those days when it is a good thing that there isn't a gun in the house.

Not the best day as you can surely tell from the above mentioned reference to firearms.

I can hear everyone saying, "What's wrong?"

(sigh)

I'm not really sure exactly.

I'm just depressed and kind of "numb." Numb in the sense that I haven't felt good OR bad lately. I haven't really felt anything at ALL!! I guess the best way to describe this is that I am non-emotional. The only emotion that seems to crack this fog is depression (of course, right?)

Anyway, I went to my therapist today and my emotions were running high and low and zooming all over the place. As usual they ended up colliding like two commuter trains and the casualities were high. I felt apart and cried (as usual when I see my therapist). I was a total mess and I didn't know what to do. I just sat there and blubbered like a fool. My therapist wanted me to do some drawing on this sketch pad but I was already over on my time and I just wanted to leave. So I wrote my check out between tears and slunk my way down the stairs to my car. I then proceeded to cry most of the way home from my appointment.

I thought going to the therapist was supposed to make you feel better not worse. I guess It is going to hurt while I'm working through shit but that does not seem like it will change. I AM dealing with a severe and CHRONIC brain disorder after all. I will have to see a therapist probably for the rest of my life and so I will go through this cycle over and over again.

I'm a psychlogical hemophiliac.

The wounds come fast and furious and I can't stop the bleeding and before I know it I'm wounded in another way and bleeding even harder.

Well, I think I am going to take some more Lexapro and see what happens. Living with schizoaffective is like constantly living in some twisted game show where you are "spinning the wheel of psychosis" at every breath.

First spin: The prize?? A grand delusion where you think that you are God!!! Followed by an opposite delusion where you find yourself believing that you are the shit of the Earth!! Yey!!!!!!

Next spin: (I have to spin again??? I just spun the damn thing a minute ago) "Nature of the game son! Now spin the wheel before I take over your brain and force a gun down your throat."

(sigh) The second prize?? Extreme paranoia where you think that everyone is out to get you and you hide under the bed until you fall asleep from the exhaustion of worrying what every sound is outside.

Third spin: Drains your positive mood right down, out through your toes and leaves you wanting the sweet release of death!! Wooohoooo!!!

Anyway, you get the point and I know you're getting tired of hearing me rant and rave about this shit.

Gonna take another candy from the anti-depressant bottle and wash it down with some Sangria wine. Wish I had something better for you to read but ce la vie!! Oh and don't feel like you have to comment to help keep me alive or anything. I'm not going anywhere. I'm too weak or strong, (or whatever you want to label it) to kill myself. I'll be here tomorrow to write about some other inane or insane piece of material.

I'm off.


---End of Transmission---

Hmmm. There is certainly something wrong here. Taking the escalator up to the front door of your fitness center?? Hehe. Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Free and Easy: A Spontaneous Vajra Song

Happiness can not be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already present,
in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.
Why identify with,
and become attached to it,
passing judgement upon it and ourselves?

Far better to simply
let the entire game happen on its own,
springing up and falling back like waves
without changing or manipulating anything
and notice how everything
vanishes and reappears, magically,
again and again, time without end.

Only our searching for happiness
prevents us from seeing it.
It's like a vivid rainbow which you pursue
without ever catching
or a dog chasing its own tail.

Although peace and happiness
do not exist as an actual thing or place,
it is always available
and accompanies you every instant.

Don't believe in the reality
of good and bad experiences;
they are like today's ephemeral weather,
like rainbows in the sky.

Wanting to grasp the ungraspable,
you exhaust yourself in vain.
As soon as you open and relax
this tight fist of grasping,
infinite space is there -
open, inviting and comfortable.

Make use of this spaciousness, this
freedom and natural ease.
Don't search any further
looking for the great awakened elephant,
who is already resting quietly at home
in front of your own hearth.

Nothing to do or undo,
nothing to force,
nothing to want,
and nothing missing-

Emaho! Marvelous!
Everything happens by itself.

By Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche


---End of Transmission---

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Classic Bob


For those who do not know, I am a huge, HUGE Bob Marley fan. He was a musical genius who's place in history is solidified. He was more then a musician though. He was a prophet, a poet and a mystic who's words now seep through and will mark history forever.

This is by far the best Bob Marley compilation out there and a must have for Marley fans. I have some extra rare edition though then this one found on Amazon.com. Mine has like 5 more songs on each disc. Anyway, I would also recommend this to people who haven't listened to Marley in the past but who admire good music.

This is music from his earlier days and has a sound that is more "raw" then his later, more famous stuff. The songs on this double disc compilation have more of a old "ska" sound to it.

If I had to pick only one disc to have for the rest of my life I would go with this classic. Whenever I am down I can listen to Bob and I am sure to feel better soon. So go out and honor the great Robert Nesta Marley by buying this disc and treat yourself to pure musical joy.


---End of Transmission--- Posted by Hello

Friday, March 04, 2005

United States of Rude America

Yesterday I was not living in America. I was stuck in some time-warp where only rude assholes lived and commuted. I went to pick up my wife yesterday afternoon and I was waiting to turn right across two lanes of traffic to the left hand turn lane. I have done this before and it sometimes takes awhile. Well, anyway, this impatient little bitch comes up behind me and HONKS her horn at me!! Like, she wants to turn immediately right and was not willing to wait a few seconds for me to go. She honked AGAIN and I was just thinking, "Who's in front of who here baby?" Anyway, she finally just pulled out and went around me and turned in front of me with a cloud of dust (***GOI Staff would like to take this moment to recognize James with the "Medal of Genius" badge for resisting to flip the middle finger at this girl). Anyway, last time I checked you had to WAIT IN LINE in society. Since when did we all just decide to do whatever we wanted. OH YEAH!!! Ever since Bush was "elected". He (and Clinton too to some degree) has certianly led by example to show that consequences do not matter and neither does the truth.

Anyway, here's my other story from yesterday. So later that evening we went to the local grocery store to pick up a few items and came across a disgusting scene. As I pulled into a parking slot I noticed a huge amout of cigarette "butts" on the ground. It was more like a "pile" of cigarette butts and believe me a "pile" is a large dose (***GOI Staff attest to this fact that James has seen quite a few big animal"piles" of "matter" from his backpacking experience).

Once I got out of the car it was obvious to me as to what happened. Some lazy ass "I'm an American damn it and I'll do whatever I please" dumped their ENTIRE cigarette tray out of the car onto the ground!!!!! There must have been easily 20 there. The sad thing is that there were TWO trash bins not more then 10 meters away!! Who can't wait long enough to dump their tray in the trash can a few meters away? Or wait until you get home and dump them in the garbage??

I was just outraged yesterday.

Thanks for letting me get that off of my chest.


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Thursday, March 03, 2005

Watch Out: Because Big Brother IS Watching YOU!!!

I heard a story this afternoon on CNN about internet/blog regulation. This is something that we should all be concerned about (at least Americans anyway. I don't know what other countries are up to in this regard. Any information about how other countries handle/see the internet/blogs is welcome).

The basic idea behind this is that the American Federal Communications Commission wants to regulate blogs that link to a political candidate or help raise money for a candidate. This is a terrible, TERRIBLE idea. This is just another example of the errosion of individual rights. Everyday the American First Amendment to "free speech" is being diluted and washed away. This is just another example.

Since it went public the internet has always been a very open and free venue to discuss anything and everything. The internet is the arena where the world comes together to share ideas and interact. I am very skeptical at any kind of regulation on the internet because where does it stop?

People say, "What about protecting the kids online?" Valid concern but there are monitoring programs now available to prevent kids from accessing sensitive and adult sites. Besides, what happened to good, old parental monitoring of what your kids are into?

The current American government is going too far with this idea. Internet blogs are the last independent voice for the average person. If we can not express ourselves online then I have to wonder where this administration will go after that. We have already seen some serious invasion into personal rights here in America with the PATRIOT ACT. The internet is the last place in America where you can say whatever the FUCK YOU WANT without having to worry about the goddamn government looking up your ass!!

In many ways I can not help but laugh. Who does the FCC think they are?? How in the burning, blazin' hell does the FCC think it can regulate the internet?! It belongs to the goddamn world after all!!!

The internet/blogs are linking the world in many wonderful ways and if the current American government attacks the internet and blogs then we (Americans at least) are headed for an America that our "founders fathers" would no longer recognize.

FIGHT THE POWER!!!! :-)



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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Bush Joke

A lobbyist on his way home from work in Washington, DC came to a stop in the traffic and thought to himself,

"Wow, this traffic seem worse then usual."

Then he noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars so he rolled down his window and asked,

"Officer, what's the holdup?"

The officer replied, "The President is depressed so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire. He says that no one believes his stories about why went to war in Iraq, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends. So we're taking up a collection for him."

The lobbyist asked, "How much have you got so far?"

The officer replied:

"About forty gallons but a lot of people are still siphoning their gasoline."


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Yesterday my father and I went looking for birds of prey and found a Bald Eagle (which is of course the national bird of America). I have not seen one of these in YEARS!!! It was very exciting. Plus, we saw a red-tail hawk which is my favorite hawk. It was a very thrilling afternoon. Not to mention the 8 deer that we saw up on the ridge. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Scattered Thoughts

I've been so "spaced out" and groggy the last few days/weeks that last night I went and left the car keys in the fridge!!
-Looks like Lebanon is going to toss out the Syrians and I think that is probably a good thing. Especially since the desire is coming from the masses of Lebanon and not so much from the a tiny circle of Lebanese ex-pats living in the United States. Although, The Guardian reports today that the U.S. AND France are calling on the Syrians to leave. That is a lot of pressure. Let's hope that there can be a peaceful transition in that country. I worry, however, that America will get pulled into another war, this time with Syria.
-Going to look and watch for hawks this afternoon with my Dad. It is something that we use to do when I was a kid but haven't done in awhile. I am excited.
-I've been doing some serious house cleaning since "house husband" has become an additional title to my name along with painter and writer. I'm really quite enjoying doing the piles of laundry that have built up and rearraging things. I'm also boxing up a bunch of old textbooks from my university days. I am sending then off to these "university bookstore" places and I should get around $150.00 for them. Not bad!! We need all the money that we can get!! :-)

Anyway, that's all for now.


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