Thursday, September 30, 2004

Kerry Won the Debate

I think it is clear to everyone that Kerry won the first debate tonight and put to rest doubts on questions about his leadership ability. Kerry looked more presidential then President Bush and even had better posture! President Bush kept hunching over and standing more like a back-alley, pan-handling bum then a president.

Kerry also sounded more versed then Bush on the issues. I felt like I was listening to a well-spoken professor of International Relations when listening to Senator Kerry. President Bush, however, sounded like a broken record. His only come back to Kerry's barrage of facts, examples and solutions was to constantly state that Kerry was "sending mixed messages." He kept stubbornly hammering the same negative attacks on Kerry. In doing so, Bush insinuated that consistency is more important then being right! Kerry also had an excellent and superior grasp on historical issues of foreign policy and how they affect our present day. Such as stating that invading Iraq after 9/11 was like FDR invading Mexico after Pear Harbor. Ouch.

I think the best line of the night from Kerry, however, came during the subject of Afghanistan and how Osama bin Laden slipped away. Sen. Kerry stated, "Unfortunately he escaped in the mountains of Tora Bora. We had him surrounded. But we didn't use American forces -- the best trained in the world -- to go kill him. The president relied on Afghan warlords -- and he out-sourced that job too. That's wrong."

Polls are always a bit suspect to me but I figured I would post some of the instant polls found on various news sites because they show whelmingly that people saw Kerry as the winner tonight.

CBS News.com
Kerry-92.16%
Bush-7.11%

CNN.com
Kerry-79%
Bush-18%

MSNBC.com
Kerry-71%
Bush-29%

ABC News.com
Kerry-45%
Bush-36%

The bottom line here is that Senator John Kerry debated circles around Bush and showed that he deserves to be the next President of the United States of America. Bush showed himself to be a dangerously, bumbling idiot who couldn't lead his way out of a phone booth.

Son of Republican President Endorses Kerry

John Eisenhower (son of Republican President Dwight D. Eisenhower) has announced in an editorial that he endorses Sen. John Kerry for president and plans to vote for him in November. According to CNN Eisenhower switched his party affiliation from Republican to Independent, "after losing confidence in his former party." Eisenhower went on to say, "The fact is that today's 'Republican' Party is one with which I am totally unfamiliar."


Voting

Its the most important activity that we as Americans can engage in. This election is probably going to be the most important election in U.S. History. Most states are already securely in either the Bush or Kerry column. So it is even more important to vote if you live in a swing state such as Ohio, Pennsylvania, Iowa, Minnesota, Missouri, etc.

You might say...but my vote doesn't matter anyway. It does matter. It matters because this country is on the brink of loosing complete respect of the rest of the world due to our actions in Iraq. Voting also allows you to feel like you are apart of the society and community in which you live. It helps you feel like you are doing something to help our country move and grow in the right direction. Get out and there register and vote!!

Bombs over Baghdad

God. This kind of report is becoming all too common these days.
Here's the headline from MSNBC on this story, "Multiple blasts kill dozens of children in Iraq:Baghdad bombs claim 35 young lives; 208 Iraqis hurt across country."
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6095119/

It was also reported that 2 U.S. soldier were killed. According to MSNBC the death toll of children is the highest since the insurgency began 17 months ago. Meanwhile American fighter jets bombed Fallujah looking to hit targets associated with al-Zarqawi’s network. Two women and one child was killed in the bombing. To quote the MSNBC story: "The military says the attacks have inflicted significant damage on the network...Doctors say scores of civilians have been killed and wounded in the strikes." 46 total Iraqis were killed in violence across the country.

What the hell is going on over there?! I thought we were the to help these people? They are dropping like flies because for seeming to support our occupation. How can George W. Bush paint a rosey picture of events in Iraq? The place is descending further and further each day into chaos and thus even closer to civil war. The Iraqi Army will not defend their own country because they have the Americans to fight their battles for one. The other issue there is that the Iraqi forces are being blown up as they try to register for service! How can we rebuild Iraq when we can not stop the shooting and killing and stablize the place. There is NO way that elections can be held in January and I am sure the admistration knows this will be the case. That is probably why they scheduled elections until after the U.S. elections. In the hope that Bush would be re-elected and then could push the Iraqi elections date back. Regardless of who is elected in America the Iraqi elections should be pushed back. That country is just one huge grenade "that never stops exploding." George W. Bush has made TOO many mistakes over there to be allowed a second term as our President. We need to elect John Kerry and allow him a chance to fix this aweful mess that Bush has created. We were mislead into this war and now we can not get ourselves out. There is no way that we can pull out now. To do so would be a terrible mistake for everyone involved. Yet we should have NEVER gone into this war in the first place. We are stuck in a bad situation and we will be in this terrible quagmire for some time to come. There is one person at fault for all of this - George W. Bush.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Gov. Bill Owens

Gov. Bill Owens (R) from Colorado was on Hardball with Chris Matthews last night and made an idiotic statement which I wanted to share with you all. Matthews asked Owens who he would rather have in jail, Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden? Owens answered, Saddam Hussein!! Who attacked America on September 11th Gove Owens? Who is responsible for directly killing some 3,ooo Americans on that day? Saddam HUSSEIN?! Of course not. The 9/11 Commission AND President Bush himself have said that there was no connection between Saddam Hussein and 9/11. And yet, Gov. Owens said he would rather have Hussein in jail then Osama bin Laden.

You have to remember though that this is the same guy who talked relentlessly about "family values" and then goes and gets a divorce from his wife. My beautiful state of Colorado has been held hostage by this guy for years.

James Baker's Law Firm Defends the Saudis Against 9/11 Families

I heard about this just now on the Randi Rhodes show on Air America Radio. Here's the link to the story about Baker representing the Saudi's. It was found originally posted on a web site titled, The Great Divide and was written by Claudia Long. www.madveteransforpeace.org/index_files/JamesBakerLawFirm.html

James A. Baker is the same guy who represented Bush during the Florida election controversy. He is also the guy who represented Bush in hammering out the "rules" of the up-coming 2004 presidential debate. I think it is appauling that a member of the Bush team is representing The Saudi Royal Family against the law suits of the 9/11 families. I thought Bush was all about helping the victims of 9/11? Hmmmm....maybe this Baker connection is part of the reason that many of the 9/11 families support Sen. John Kerry in this 2004 election.


Congressman BeauPrez Stinks

My wife was flipping through The Denver Post and came across a revealing news story about Rep. BeauPrez (R).
http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~64~2431162,00
.html

To quote the article: "Colorado Congressman Bob Beauprez, who received thousands of dollars from makers of a potential human carcinogen, voted to shield makers of the chemical MTBE from lawsuits even though it has been found at 20 sites in his district."

(claps hands in applause) That's the way to defend the public from harmful chemicals Rep.!! Way to stay clear from the all mighty dollar of special interests (wink, nod). According to BeauPrez though you can STILL file lawsuits against companies who make the containers that carry the nasty stuff. Hmmm...that sounds pretty fair. Why would ANYONE want to file a lawsuit against the company who made the actual carcinogenic product? I'm sure they'd much rather pick on the middle-man who makes innocuous metal shipping containers. This guy is a joke. My wife was actually hired by this guy to work at his business. I will say that he is a good business man but a TERRIBLE politician. He needs to go.

The Lone Star Iconoclast

It seems that not everyone in Crawford, TX likes G.W. Bush. The Lone Star Iconoclast is the hometown newspaper of W and they have just endorsed Sen. John Kerry for President. Ouch...
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6124397/

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Vote For Bush or Die...

That is pretty much the gist of what the Republican Party is saying during these finals days of the 2004 Presidential campaign. It is also the theme of new political attack ads aimed at the fears of Americans. A Boston Globe.com News article describes one of these ads:

The ad, which is airing at least in Iowa and Wisconsin, shows Sept. 11 hijacker Mohammed Atta, Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, and other terrorists, and shows pictures of terrorist attacks in Russia, Spain, and the United States, including wreckage from the World Trade Center towers. It asks, ''Would you trust Kerry against these fanatic killers?" and says ''President Bush didn't start this war, but he will finish it."


The article goes on to say that Edwards responded to the ad with the following statement: ''The truth is they're trying to exploit one of our nation's greatest tragedies for personal gain (September 11th)It is immoral, and it is wrong," Edwards said. Edwards said everyone is united on doing whatever is necessary to protect the country from terrorism.

Oh, yeah and let us not forget Dick Cheney's comments that a vote for Kerry would be asking to get hit with another terrorist attack! (rolls eyes)

It is pure balderdash that Republicans are spewing such ads/comments. John Kerry would be just as strong on terrorism as George W. Bush would. It is the number one duty of a President to protect America from terrorism. It is pure idiocy to presume that John Kerry would do nothing should the United States of America get hit again with a terrorist attack. John Kerry would have moved against Al-Qaeda after September 11th just as George W. Bush. That is an obvious response by ANY President of the United States following such an attack. Going into Iraq is another issue that had nothing to do with September 11th. The 9/11 Commission said there was no link and even GWB has admitted as much:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3118262.stm

And let us not forget that Bush claims he will keep America safer. BUT... if he has been keeping us so safe...why were we hit on September 11th in the first place?! Huh Mr. Bush? You may say that such a statement is absurd and if you do then you have gotten my point. Its just as absurd as saying that Kerry would be soft on terrorism.

Going to the Polls

Rasmussen Reports Update Poll:—September 28, 2004

Bush 48% Kerry 46%

Electoral College: Bush 213 Kerry 211

Washington Post/ABC News Poll: Bush 51% Kerry 45%

Zogby International Poll: Bush 46% Kerry 43%

Pew Research Center for the People and the Press: Bush 48% Kerry 40%


As you regular readers know I do not put much stock in any poll but I figured that I would post a few of the most recent to: 1). show how much flux there is from poll to poll and 2). show that it appears that Sen. Kerry is well within the margin of error (usually between 3-5 percentage points) in most of these polls which makes this race a statistical dead-heat.

Change is Constant

Buddhism has had a great influence upon me and yet I do not consider myself a "Buddhist." I do not align myself with any specific religion. I align myself with ALL religions because I believe that Truth is Truth despite the religion. This is one of the main reasons I have taken the path of the mystic. Anyway, I digress.

I was reading a forum in the Buddhist section of Beliefnet.com on "Western Buddhism." There were 27 posts and it seemed like a vibrant debate. The issue being discussed was whether or not "Western Buddhism" exists and in what form is it taking (if it does exist)? The one side said that there is no such thing as western Buddhism. That it is not "Buddhist" to change the style and/or manner in which one practices Buddhism. I found this to be close-minded, arrogant, absurdity. The very nature of Buddhism is change. One of the fundamental teachings is that of change. Change is inevitable and one must accept that change and flow with it. "Float like a leaf upon the river of life" as one Zen saying puts it.

Buddhism exists already in myriad forms. There is Theravada, Tibetan, Zen/Cha'an, Pure Land, and Vietnamese Buddhism to name a few. Why wouldn't Buddhism change its form slightly in coming to the West? Of course it will change and that is the beauty of Buddhism. The four noble truthes do not change but the form in which they are taught and understood does. Not everyone learns the same way. Its like how some people learn better through visual presentations while others learn better through oral lecture. One of the people in the debate posted something which I thought was very enlightening. It came from a forward to a book that the Dalai Lama of Tibetan Buddhism wrote on the changing nature of Buddhism.

"Buddhism has been influenced by every culture it has ever come to, it has changed, adapted, etc. Lineages have been started by former students of other Masters, and so on, with slightly different or perhaps deeper understandings. It wouldn't be Buddhism if it were not so. If it were one fixed idea, one fixed notion, it would be permanent. That doesn't fit. However, there are some key elements that every discipline must possess for it to be called Buddhism. Like the three Treasures, and Three Refuges, and so on...."

I couldn't have said it better myself so I think I'll leave it at that.

Bush Wants Four More Years? How About Four More Bodies?

Two American soldiers were killed in Iraq yesterday on the same day that Secretary of State Colin Powell admitted that the "insurrection is getting worse."
http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/nation/9776459.htm?1c

While two British soldiers died today in an ambush near the southern city of Basra. http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,1314609,00.html
The attack on the British soldiers is very troubling since that area has been considered fairly stable and free from rebel attack.

Monday, September 27, 2004

The Emperor Has No Clothes

Things are getting worse in Iraq and even Republican's are beginnning to see that the war is turning on us. http://www.commondreams.org/views04/0927-01.htm

This election is a referendum on George W. Bush and that is the main reason I am voting for John Kerry. Let's see what the other guys can do. Let's give Kerry a chance to do something different and see if he can turn things around. Bush has made so many mistakes with involving America (and the world) in this mess of a war that he deserves to be voted out of office. You really deserve to go when even members in your own party are saying that Iraq was pourly planned and that we have made big mistakes there.

Central Command


New desk and chair that we bought this week end. Posted by Hello

Sunday, September 26, 2004

After A While

This is a poem that I received as one of my "Daily Buddhist Wisdom" emails sent to me from Beliefnet.com

After a While

After a while, you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With you head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
And futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
After a while, you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong.
And you really have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

~Veronica Shoffstall


---End of Transmission---

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Bush Family Link with Nazi's?


Did part of the Bush Family fortune come from funding the Nazi's? Truth or pure rubbish? You decide.
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/0925-01.htm

Posted by Hello

L, M, N, O, Peeeeace


A new Iraqi rebel is born. Posted by Hello

Pronunciation

I have noticed a difference in pronunciation of Iraq and it is getting on my nerves a bit. I hear the Iraqi's on television say it, E-ROCK which is how I have been saying it since. However, I have heard government officials, journalists and average American citizens pronouce it, I-RACK. I think that we should pronounce it the way the Iraqi's do. It's the least we can do. To mispronounce the name of their country makes us sound more uneducated then a lot of us already are.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Noises

I am super sensitive to stimuli (light, sound, etc.) as a result of the schizoaffective stuff. Noise, however, is probably the most annoying and aggravating. I hear the smallest noise from miles away as if it was right up flush, next to my ear. There is this dog off in the distance somewhere that has this high-pitched yet kind of "off" bark and it drives me up the wall because I can't screen it out. Not to mention the dog sounds like its barking directly in my ear. Well, so this morning the lawn maintence crew showed up to the house across the street and began going to war with their machines. They had dual lawn mowers buzzing around like helicopters in the kuwaiti desert. The worst one, however, has got to be the leaf blower. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and ALL the shepards!!! That thing sounds like a blender, a hair-dyer, a lawn-mower and a cacophony of barking dogs all mixed together. It felt like the damn thing was blowing all my brain cells around.

The other noise that really gets me are certain bird calls. Especially doves. God, they sound so depressing! They sound like they are just moaning and groaning in suicidal agony. Hell, makes you want to slit your throat after listening to that for a few minutes! The other bird that drives me insane is the Blue Jay. This is a beautiful bird until it opens its mouth to sing-or should I say, screech. The Blue Jay sounds like one of those crazy, old cat ladies who screams at you from the front porch. It is almost as if this bird is literally crewing on some raw, exposed nerve in my brain.

Anyway, all of these noises are assaulting me on the second day of road construction a half-block away. As I am falling asleep tonight I know that I am going to hear the beep, beep, beep of the steam-roller. All I can say is thank GOD for the tranquilizer Ativan. Whew...what a life saver. It takes me down a peg or two when I get all ratcheted up from these noises. It's strange too because I don't usually realize that I need to take Ativan until i'm already in a full-blown panic/anxiety attack. Oh well. I am just SO thankful for modern medicine. I can't imagine having schizoaffective disorder in the 1800's like Van Gogh. I guess I probably would have killed myself too. And on that light-hearted note...I shall end this rant.


---End of Transmission---

GOP: (Grand Old Propaganda)

Well, the Republican party is stooping to new lows in Arkansas and West Virginia. They are sending out flyers that make the outrageous claim that liberals want to ban the Bible. Check it out for yourself.http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/nation/9748985.htm?1c

Zerosum Blog

There's an old saying, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" and that is just what I am doing in adding a link to the right-winger blog, Zerosum. All kidding aside, I like the way that he writes and he frames a good arguement. I like to give an outlet to the opposing view-point for my readers. I enjoy reading the opposition. It keeps me on my toes. Besides, a democracy is only as good as its free exchange of ideas. Welcome to my blog Nihilo. http://zer0sum.blogspot.com/

The Lights Went Out

Let me preface this post in saying that one of the head-lights in our VW Beetle went out a few weeks ago. Well, my poor wife started driving home from Denver last night and the other headlight conked out!! So, there she was with both head-lights out. Luckily the fog lights gave her enough light to see and she was able to get the car home safely. We looked in the VW manual on how to change a light bulb for a Beetle (I know...thats the start of a good joke) and the manual just simply said, "go to the dealer." So, we have to take the car to the dealer just to change two light bulbs!! And you know how expensive the dealer can be when doing any kind of repairs. With that in mind it will cost us $40 per headlight!!...Ha! Those damn things better shine on into the next century for that price!! Anyway, thats the latest drama in our lives. I'm sure you're all thrilled beyond measure. Those new VW Beetles are good little cars. They are fun to drive and have quite a bit of room in there. I recommend them to anybody. Expect be prepared to take the car to the dealer if the headlights go out lol.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

40 of 50 states

As you regular readers know, I have raised concern with the "up-coming" Iraqi National Election. The Bush Administration has since admitted that some of the areas of Iraq will most likely not be ready for the elections in January. Colorado Representavie Diana Degette (D) was on CNN's program, Paula Zahn Now tonight and had a great statement about this issue. She stated that elections only taking place in certain provinces of Iraq is like only 40 of 50 states participating in an American election! The elections should be cancelled until all provinces are free from violence and its citizens feel safe to vote. I don't understand why the Bush Administration does not push the Iraqi provisional government in post-poning the elections? The only thing I can figure is that they think it would hurt them politically if they had to push the elections back. Still, an election held in only certain parts of Iraq is sure to spark charges of a tilted election where not everyone's voice was heard (Sounds like America in 2000 where the antiquated electoral college system made sure that some 500,000 votes for Al Gore were never counted).

This first election in Iraq is too important to democracy to rush it.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

The Toll

3 more American soldiers died today as the headless body of a second, decapitated American was found in Iraq. I have decided to post this information as a reminder of just how high a toll this mistake is costing Americans. According to CNN:

"There have been 1,175 coalition deaths, 1,040 Americans, 66 Britons, six Bulgarians, one Dane, two Dutch, one Estonian, one Hungarian, 19 Italians, one Latvian, 13 Poles, one Salvadoran, three Slovaks, 11 Spaniards, two Thai and eight Ukrainians, in the war in Iraq as of September 22, 2004." http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/

All but 135 of these deaths have been American. And yet George W. Bush continues to claim that we did not go it alone and that his "coalition" is significant. Well King George, if that is the case how come Americans are bearing some 90% of the casualities?!

The Iraqi civilian death-toll, however, is unknown but suspected to be in the thousands. The BBC reports that it ranges between 10,000 and 37,000. Whatever the numbers, this war has cost everyone a lot.

Of course we can't pull out now but Bush should go back to the United Nations and admit that he made a mistake in rushing into war in Iraq and plead for more international assistance. In addition, we should send Iraqi Army/National Guard recruits to foreign countries so that they might be protected from insurgents while they train. This has to happen so that we can end this war and rebuild Iraq.

No Time to Delay

(shrug) Yeah, I know my title is a bad pun but its all that I could come up with today.
Anywho, It appears that Rep. Tom Delay (R) of Texas might have gotten his hand "caught in the cookie jar" as we Americans like to say. Here are a couple of links about the story:

http://www.commondreams.org/news2004/0921-13.htm

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/9/21/175128/873

My First Hate Mail

Wow. I feel like an official blogger now that I've received my first piece of hate mail. It is associated with my post on Bush going to the U.N.--Go check it out. I'm called pleasant terms of endearment such as: "f*ckhead" and "bitch" while being ripped for caring about the what the rest of the world thinks (how dare I care about belonging to a global community!). I guess (according to this heckler) I should give the finger to the rest of the world. Great foreign policy idea "Anonymous." That is the other thing. The person did not even bother to leave their name. I don't mind criticism but I'd rather like to know who I am debating with. I also like to debate without having to resort to insults and foul language. He goes on to say:

"Perhaps this "world" first should make sure tens of thousands of people are not being slaughtered in various places on this planet before taking on USA for getting rid of Saddam..."

Well, first of all that was not the main reason that Mr. Bush pushed America into this war. The main reason was that he "claimed" that Iraq had tons and tons of weapons of mass destruction and he was going to use them on us any day! Then when we didn't find those weapons we all of a sudden cared about those Iraqi people being slaughtered. Now don't get me wrong, I am happy that Saddam is not slaughtering people anymore but we've traided Saddam for insurgents who are now doing the slaughtering. Whats the difference? Bush always mentions that Saddam used chemical weapons on his own people back in the 80's. Well, why didn't the Reagan/Bush administration go after Saddam then for slaughtering his own people? Oh wait...I remember. They were friends with Saddam Hussein at the time! Going so far as having Donald Rumsfeld (of all people) going to meet and shake hands with the "evil dictator" himself!!

You say that you are for the ending of the slaughter of people around the world. So am i. I do not think that slaughter is right in the least but we can not go into every country in the world which is currently being led by a dictator. In the first place, we do not have enough troops to go into all of these countries. There are countries all over the world that suffer from dictators and yet we do not go and over-throw their governments? Most of Africa is living under a dictator and same with South America and a lot of South Asia. Are YOU sir prepared to invade all of these countries to make the world safer? Part of this issue is a metaphysical one. You can not end suffering in its totality in this world. You have to pick your battles and Iraq was not a smart move. Afghanistan was a right battle but we got distracted by it with this Iraqi debacle. O.k., so we "liberated" Iraq from Saddam but now we can not tame the rebels and our soldiers keep dying every day. We need more assistance from other European countries to assist in rebuilding Iraq so that it CAN become a success. Right now, we can not get the help that we desperately need from Europe because YOUR President and his administration has so insulted Europe and the rest of the world and we are now pretty much ignored and have lost all credibility.

And finally he says:

"Dream on bitch - we are voting for Bush and there is nothing a 3rd world country idiots can do about it.You are not one but two generations behind this nation and the only thing you have left to you is that nasty feeling of being unable to do anything."

Um, I could be wrong of course but I am pretty sure that I am not the one who is behind a few generations in terms of thinking about the future. In blowing off the REST OF THE GLOBE you belong to a generation behind the times and belong to a group who is thinking too much with theirs hearts and not enough with their heads.

---End of Transmission---

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

The Rain King

All day today it has been raining and so I wrote a few lines about rain:

The rain falls from the sky in a zen-like, uninhibited free-fall.
Washing away the sins of our rainforest devouring machines.
The clean and pure water fills our soul with liberation from our anxiety and fears.
It has arrived just in time to save our sanity.
Rain drops surround us in a blanket of softness that allows us to remember.
Remember our connection with the cycles of nature.
The rain visits us ... and for a brief moment in time...everything is calm.
Everything is secure.
Rain drops sound the noise of the Great Mystery and beckon us to return to our deep inner pools of strength and true identity.
And so I sit back in my chair, look up into the sky and smile at the Infinite.
For I know that everything is interconnected and beautiful in its perfect existence and expression.

And the rain just keeps falling...
Adding to the river of life that must move on.

-james (2004)


Bush Goes to the U.N.

Well, Bush has come to the the United Nations today with "hat in hand" looking for assistance for his illegal war. I really do not see how the U.N. is going to bail GW out. For one, Bush did not give the U.N. weapons inspectors enough time to look for weapons of mass destruction before he invaded Iraq. Plus, he basically lied to the United Nations by trumping up the threat of weapons of mass destruction to force the U.N. in voting for resolution 1441. Then Bush used the coerced 1441 resolution as an excuse to pound Iraq. If I was apart of the U.N. I would not feel too good about GW Bush. I would probably feel like a wife who was lied to, cheated on, and lied to again. Only to see Bush come groveling back, semi-asking for forgiveness without accepting responsibility. I think that it is going to take a new President to bring about co-operation with the United Nations. John Kerry is that man. I think the rest of the world will look at him as a new and different voice in American politics and therefore be more willing to work with his vision for Iraq.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About James But Were Afraid to Ask!

I must first give credit to "Rcktman Rick's" blog for this list idea. Here is his blog if you want to check it out: http://rcktman.blogspot.com/

1.) I lived in Africa for 2 years and it changed my life forever.
1a.) I survived malaria 4 times over there.
2.) My favorite food is Chinese--(sesame tofu to be specific.)
3.) I am a vegetarian.
4.) I speak and read fluent French.
5.) I am a liberal. Some would probably say Socialist. To be specific I am a Democratic-Socialist. It's Democracy blended with some socialism. Think of Norway or Sweden.
6.) I am one-quarter Norwegian and part Scottish. The Scottish side, however can trace their
roots to Norway as well. So, I guess i'm viking through and through!
7.) I love to paint. Art is my biggest passion besides spirituality. In my opinion, however, art
and spirituality are very much connected.
8.) I am the youngest in my family.
9.) I get allergies in the spring and fall.
10.) I usually only go 5mph over the speed limit at all times. And I use cruise control all the
time. I don't have to constantly watch my speed. It is one less thing I have to worry about.
11.) I have no kids and do not plan on having kids anytime soon.
12.) I have five tattoos and sleeve and I want more.
13.) The only thing I have pierced are my ears.
14.) My favorite colors are black and green.
15.) My favorite numbers are 5 and 3.
16.) I have no unlucky numbers.
17.) I believe that there is other life out in the vast reaches of the Universe. We are not alone.
18.) I enjoy travelling but I also enjoy coming home again.
19.) I was raised Mormon but am now a Zen Buddhist. I know, quite the shift.
20.) I hate cell phones. They are good for emergencies but are WAY over used in society I
think.
21.) I believe that marijuana should be legalized. Especially for medicinal purposes.
22.) I love to read.
23.) I love international football (soccer to the yanks). My favorite team? Any African club or
country playing. Or the Glasgow Rangers if we're talking about Scotland.
24.) Visiting India, Egypt and revisiting Africa are in the top 5 on the my list of things to do before I croak.
25.) I like making "lists" lol.
26.) I've been married 10 years and love it more and more with each passing year.
28.) I hate when people don't go the speed limit in the left lane!
29.) I have never voted Republican and probably never will.
30.) I have had two major concussions in my life.
31.) I like to swim.
32.) Someday I would like to have a cozy, little cabin up in the Rocky Mountains here in Colorado.
33.) I would like to live in both Europe and Canada for a time. Then retire to some island.
34.) I hate to fly. I have an extreme fear of heights.
35.) I also hate clowns. They creep me out.
36.) My least favorite vegetable is the green bean. YUCK!!!
37.) Favorite cookie: Snickerdoodle.
38.) My Favorite t.v. shows: Lost, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Family Guy.
39.) I hate sleeping in a bed where the sheets are not straight and laid-out.
40.) I'm an artist. I paint mostly in oils.
41.) I hate the mornings.
42.) I love rain. Its smells wonderful and is very refreshing.
43.) I love nature. I love the green of plants, trees and forests.
44.) Bob Marley is my favorite musical artist.
45.) I don't mind spiders and insects but I HATE mice! lol
46.) I know where just about every country in the world is located. I'm a geography freak. lol
47.) My favorite artists: Salvador Dali, Pablo Picasso and Vincent Van Gogh.
48.) By the smallest of margins, one of my legs is shorter then the other (4mm).
49.) I drive one of those new VW Beetles.
50.) I'm a dog person but my personality is more like a cat.
51.) I actually enjoy watching C-SPAN.
52.) I admit that I am addicted to the reality shows, The Amazing Race and Survivor.
53.) I am absolutely against the death penalty.
54.) I believe that most people are inherently good.
55.) I do not like talking too often on the phone. I am more of an email person.
56.) I always loose my keys, my wallet and my glasses!
57.) I can't stand racism and gay bashing discrimination.
58.) Halloween is my favorite holiday.
59.) The red-tail hawk is my animal totem.
60.) I am a bit of a loner. An absolute recluse though I do like some people.
61.) I love the smells of coffee, tobacco and paper mixed together in bookstores.
62.) I met my wife in a french class.
63.) Riesling and Chianti are my favorite wines.
64.) I like extra dry champagne.
65.) I have never broken a bone in my body (knock on wood).
66.) The Big Lebowski is my favorite movie.
67.) I plan on writing a book at some point in my life.
68.) I want to have my own art studio.
69.) I'm a news and politics junkie.
70.) I meditate daily for 20 minutes.
71.) I am against hunting for sport.
72.) I do not own a gun and never will but I am not anti-gun.
73.) I am schizoaffective. Its a mental illness that combines symptoms of schizophrenia and bipolar.
74.) I take six different medications for the above illness.
75.) I have very vivid dreams.
76.) Trivial Pursuit is my favorite board game.
77.) I want a hybrid fueled car.
78.) I love fried rice. Yummers.
79.) As a Historian, I think that George W. Bush is the worst president ever. Seriously.
80.) I am not a "type A" personality.
81.) I am an extrovert.
82.) I think honesty and respect are two of the most important qualities to cultivate.
83.) I have a hard time leaving short, concise, informative messages on voice mail.
84.) I have a bad habit of being impatient.
85.) I think that technology often hinders humanity as much as it helps.
86.) I am a pessimist, or rather a realist.
87.) I am fascinated by science, astrophysics, cosmology and the universe in general. Space is stunningly beautiful.
88.) I feel that love is the reason we are all here on the planet. To love and be loved.
89.) I'm addicted to the internet.
90.) Rice, butter and freshly shredded Parmesan cheese makes for some good eatin'!
91.) I've only had two cavities in my life (knock on wood).
92.) I love to drink tea. Especially green tea.
93.) Taoist thought is also an important aspect of my spiritual beliefs. As are some Pagan beliefs.
94.) I really like those strange, independent and international films such as, "I Heart Huckabees" "Run Lola Run" and "Lost in Translation."
95.) I am a total tree hugger.
96.) I like fire.
97.) I am learning to like broccoli now. In fact, I've been craving it like a madman lately.
98.) I like to listen to talk radio.
99.) I'm an animal lover.
100.) I sleep on the left hand side of the bed.
101.) I love the smell of wet dirt and musty, humid air.

Bush Family Business


Hmmm...I wonder if this truck is headed to Iraq for the "rebuilding" process. Posted by Hello

Monday, September 20, 2004

*I got this email from a friend today and found it tragically very close to the truth.*
-james

>What you have to believe to be a Republican:

>>1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

>>2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a diversion and "we can't find Bin Laden"

>>3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

>>4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

>>5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

>>6. The best way to improve military morale is to>praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

>>7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

>>8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

>>9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism and of course socialism is bad.

>>10. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

>>11. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

>>12. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die over mythical weapons of mass destruction is solid defense policy.

>>13. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

>>14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

>>15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

>>16. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt. It also means that the government can supercede the state on the following issues: medical marijuana, abortion, taxes, gay rights and guns. As well as any issue pertaining to the interpretation of God. Which includes forcing states to pray to the Christian God in schools.

>>17. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the
'80s is irrelevant.

>>Friends don't let friends vote Republican!

Iraqi Civil War

I now believe that Iraqi is beginning to slide into a civil war. American soldiers are still being attacked and killed but increasingly it is the average Iraqi that is being targeted. Especially those who are deemed as helping the American-influenced government. Over 200 Iraqi's have been killed in the last week or so. This includes 2 influential Shiite Clerics who were assassinated today. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6021654/ The MSNBC article hints at this burgeoning civil war:

"There have been tit-for-tat killings of Shiite and Sunni clerics in the past year, widely believed to be motivated by sectarian sentiments. However, the embattled police never thoroughly investigate such murders."

The war has certainly developed into a 3 pronged war. The Americans vs. the rebels and then there are the Iraqis vs. Iraqis. I'm not sure what can be done in Iraq at this point. It sure seems bleak and yet Bush stubbornly keeps on trying to sell America on a bag of bullshit that Iraq is a success. God I'm tired of W. (Have I made that clear yet on my blog? lol).

Blog Issues

Well, I'm sure you have noticed that my profile info. has slide down my page. Hmmm...I'm not exactly sure how that happened but I've been trying (to no avail) to fix the situation. I posted something last week and when I went to look at it on the blog I saw the shift. My blog needs a face-lift and I don't know enough about the "nuts and bolts" of blogs to figure it out for myself so I emailed the good peeps at blogger to ask them what is going on. In the mean time, stay patient with my dysfunctional blog. It just needs a little extra help..ha ha. Also, if you know how I can fix this issue I would more then welcome your comments.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

The Political Compass

I found this website and thought that I would mention it here: http://www.politicalcompass.org/ You take a short test and then they give you your results as to where you fit on the political scale. The scale they use, however, is in the form of a cross, rather then the traditional "left, right" horizontal scale. This cross scale has "Authoritarian" at the top and "Libertarian" at the bottom. As well as the traditional "left, right" horizontal scale. The "left, right" scale being the economic scale and the "Authoritarian, Libertarian" scale being the social indicator. In case you were wondering, I am about as far left on the economic scale as possible in whats called the "libertarian left" quadrant. The quadrant which is labeled "voluntary regional collectivism" rather then the "state-imposed regional collectivism" quadrant of the left. Apparently I'm in the same quadrant as Gandhi. I guess I lean fairly strongly toward a socialist society but that part I already had figured out lol. Anyway, it's an interesting test to take. Check it out.

The Sphere

I receive a daily email from Beliefnet.com titled, "Daily Buddhist Wisdom" and I thought I'd share today's wisdom with you as I found it very reassuring and all-encompassing:

"There is a sphere where there is neither earth nor water nor heat nor air, for it is beyond the field of matter; nor is it the sphere of infinite space, or consciousness, for it is beyond the field of mind. There is not the condition of nothingness, neither is there the state of this world or another world, nor sun nor moon. This is the uncreated.This condition I call neither arising nor passing away, neither dying nor being born. It is without form and without change. It is the eternal, which never originates and never passes away. To find it is the end of sorrow."

-Udana Sutta

From "Buddha Speaks," edited by Anne Bancroft, 2000. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston, www.shambhala.com.

Friday, September 17, 2004

The Life Divine

I have to recommend and mention a book. This book is for anyone who is into mysticism, metaphysics, philosophy, psychology, etc. In truth, I think that everyone should read it. It is, The Life Divine by the Indian mystic Sri Aurobindo. This book will expand your knowledge and understanding of life and its mysteries. I would try to describe it more, however, my language skills fail at adequately describing such a mystical text. I am only on page 66 of 1109 pages but I have already read a life-time of knowledge. It is a lengthy book but It is well worth taking your time and reading. I am savoring its passages like a dog salivates over a juicy bone. It is certainly a book that requires contemplation and meditation as one reads. I often read a paragraph and then pause to look out the window and let the information absorb into my scarred brain tissue. I can already tell that I will read and re-read this book over and over until the day I die! Ha!!

Anyway, Aurobindo is a mystic along the lines of the American mystic, Dr. David R. Hawkins. Hawkins touches on similar issues in his books: Power vs. Force, Eye of the I, and I. I would highly recommend reading the Hawkins books as well. Aurobindo, however, seems to take Hawkins one step further. The Hawkins books seem to open the door to the concepts that Aurobindo addresses at a deeper level. Perhaps read the Hawkins books first if you are new to mystical and metaphysical thought.

Indeed, if you are a deep thinker and enjoy studying the mysteries of life then I recommend you read Aurobindo's book as soon as possible. Like right now. I mean it. Stop reading this dumb blog and go get his book!



Are you still reading this?! What are you still doing here?!! GO GET THE BOOK!!!! (smiles).

Thursday, September 16, 2004

United States of the Military

America is increasingly degenerating into a military state. We are losing exporting industries to other countries and about the only thing we have left to export is war and weaponry. I was wandering around my local super-market this afternoon picking up the essentials: Red Bull and shampoo when I was devasted to discover that the military state had infiltrated my local psycho-market. The super-market is a side-show American oddity which reminds oneself of a genesis between the Barnum and Bailey Circus and a heavy psychedelic LSD trip. Its like a mini-Las Vegas in every town.

Anyway, I digress. I was saying how this hyper-nationalistic, military state-of-mind has polluted even the local King Soopers. (I want to get this typed out onto the world wide web before the 'black helicopters' sweep me away and sequester yours truly to a rat-hole somewhere in the Guantanamo Bay, Cuba U.S. military prision camp. I'm joking of course....or am I?)

Thus, there I was. Standing in the middle of an aisle which was assaulting my brain with shampoo choices when I heard the Star-Spangled Banner. Yep, there I was holding a 4-pak of Red Bull when I heard the American National Anthem. I didn't know what to do. I thought for a moment there that I should drop the Red Bull, cover my heart and sing along. Then I realized that I was in a grocery store shopping for Red Bull (legal, liquid crack) and shampoo and listening to the uber-sacred national anthem. Now don't get me wrong. I love my country and I love the Star-Spangled Banner but do we really need to be blarring it over the speakers in our grocery stores? Doesn't that cheapen this patriotic song? Wedging it in between the jazz set and the country one? It waters it down like melting ice mixing with Coca-Cola in your glass while watching the game. Let's save the national anthem for the Olympics and other serious events-not the frozen food section, huh.

Speaking of frozen foods. You gotta try that Breyers Mint Oreo ice cream. Damn skippy its good!!

Ivan the Terrible

It is now 2:15 in the a.m. here in Colorado and I am up being a good little voyeur watching the news reports on Hurricane Ivan. Internally I am also watching a hurricane brewing. This is hurricane insomnia and its racing thoughts and witty banter are battering the "barrier islands" of my cerebral cortex. Massive flooding of ideas is being experienced in the hippocampus and hurricane force winds of anxiety are blowing straight through the brain stem itself and on through the bodies nervous system. So here I sit typing on my silly blog while i chew on Ativan tabs as if they were Altoids (hey, at least i'm not foaming at the mouth...yet lol).

I am always amazed at how stupid some of these reporters are to step out in front of a category 4 hurricane and try and report something worth such an endeavor. Yet all they can come up with is nuggets such as, "We're getting hit with more wind now" and who could forget this popular hurricane classic, "Their is massive flooding and the power is out." Crack reporting to say the least.

Hurricanes are rather awesome forces of nature. I think they are called "forces of nature" because they FORCE you to stop your silly human task and pay homage. Least we forget who our Mamma is. We still live on a very active planet and I like how that keeps us on our toes. Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, wild fires, etc. It's just Mother Nature's way of getting our attention and saying, "Hey, You!! Stop F-ing with me or I'll wipe you off this planet quicker then a grease stain on a cheap plastic table cloth at some truck stop diner!!!"

(yawn) I think the high cocktail of drugs is finally starting to shut down the main frame. Hopefully soon the screen saver of flying toasters and the like will start up and I can sleep the "hurribrain" off. Let's just hope I don't wake up on the neighbor's lawn or some such place. Oh well, If i do then I'll simply state calmly that Hurricane Ivan washed me up onto their lovely front patch of Kentucky Blue Grass. Yep. The drugs are taking hold. Won't be able to maintain any coherent thought much longer so i'll just pass out now if you don't mind (Don't worry too much kiddos. I have my name written on my fore head and my critical documents pinned to my shirt for safety measures should I wake up some where else besides in my bed...lol). The time is now 2:35a.m. and I am checking out. Emergency generators 1 and 2 have kicked in. Please stay tuned to the Emergency Broadcast System for possible evacuation of the brain. Until then: Stay safe, be well, love well, work well, read well and above all else...just be.





.....End of transmission.....

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Amendment 36

**I got this email about Amendment 36 in Colorado and I decided to show my support for this amendment by posting it here on my blog**

(1) Take back power with Amendment 36. Do you think George Bush losing the popular vote but winning the ElectoralCollege in 2000 was right? (I think I hear a resounding NO!) If you feel the people's choice should be President, then vote for Amendment 36 on November 2. Amendment 36 will change Colorado's electoral vote allocation from winner-take-all to a proportional method based on the percentage of the popular vote each candidate receives. Democracy for Colorado is proud to endorse this important initiative, and we urge everyone to help ensure that it passes. You can help right now by sending a letterto the editor urging Coloradans to support Amendment 36.

We can't get rid of the Electoral College without amending the U.S. Constitution, but each state can decide how to allocate its electoral votes, and we can make Colorado's votes proportional to the popular vote.Think about what can happen to turnout if everyone knows every vote counts! Governor Owens is vowing to tap his wealthy friends to defeat Amendment 36. He says it will make Colorado "irrelevant."That doesn't make sense: even if Colorado is a "swingstate," how can he say a few electoral votes are irrelevant?The 2000 race was decided by just 5 electoral votes! Let's take back power for Colorado voters by passing Amendment 36!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Is Coors drunk?!

Wealthy Beer Baron Pete Coors (R) and Colorado State Attorney General Ken Salazar (D) engaged in their first debate on Sept. 12th. Coors made a couple statements that made me think he was drunk. What was he thinking? And I quote Denver Post Staff Writer Nancy Lofholm here:

"Salazar talked about growing up on a farm in the rural San Luis Valley, where the Salazar home did not have a phone or electricity until 1981. Salazar, who has been director of the Colorado Department of Natural Resources and now is attorney general, said, 'I have walked in your shoes as a farmer and a small businessman.'
Coors, the scion of the wealthy Coors brewing family, also tried that tack with the audience but generated loud guffaws when he said the Senate has enough lawyers and that we need ' few more people from Main Street - people like you and me."http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36%7E64%7E2396488,00.html

Wow. Pete Coors is regular folk like me? Hmmm. How many "Main Street" people do you know who are worth $15 million dollars?! According to the Denver Post Staff Writer Mark P. Couch, that is a conservative estimate, "And that's a conservative estimate that doesn't count tens of millions of dollars tied up in family trusts. "http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36%7E64%7E2154943,00.html So much for Pete Coors being a man of the people. (Whispers behind hand held up over mouth..."I think he's had too much to drink!").

The seemingly drunk Coors went on to say that GW Bush inherited a budget deficit and did not ask for the war in Iraq. Again quoting the Nancy Lofholm piece, "When Coors said Bush inherited the budget deficit and did not ask for the war in Iraq, the factor he sees as the biggest reason for the deficit, he was soundly booed." Okkkkkkkkkkk...after hearing these later quotes I am beginning to worry about Mr. Coors. Maybe he wasn't drunk after all. I am starting to think he is mentally retarded. Did he recently take a severe blow to the head?! EVERYONE ... and I mean EVERYONE knows that Bush inherited a budget SURPLUS from the Clinton Administration. All you have to do its google the subject, "Clinton budget surplus" and you'll find tons of information.

And finally, lets address the Iraq War statement. Of COURSE Gov. Bush asked for the war!!!! It was a PRE-EMPTIVE attack after all!!! How the HELL can you PRE-EMPT a country in the tactics of war if you do not ASK for the war?!!! Bush was the one who had to SELL the war and ASK the American public and is also the one who ultimately misled us by saying Iraq had stock piles of WMD's and was ready to use them.

No wonder Pete got laughed out of the room. Mr. Coors, let me buy you a tall glass of your fine product. You deserve it after that performance. And you want to be my United States Senator! (shakes head).

Iraqi National Election

The Iraqi National Election is coming up in January and yet I haven't heard any news about who is running (if anyone) for the office?! Have you? The only person I know who is running is the US puppet Ayad Alawi. I assume he is running for office and I would not be surprised if he is the one who wins (wink..wink..nod...nod). I just think its amazing that we have not heard much (if any) reporting here in the states on the actual make-up of this Iraqi election. In a lot of ways I hope that the Iraqi people do not elect Ayad Alawi. If for no other reason then it will not look like America tilted and some how affected the election.

Monday, September 13, 2004

The Assault Weapons Ban

Great. The assault weapons ban is about to expire and no one seems to care. What's next? Allowing Americans to own surface to air missiles? How about allowing the average American Joe to buy a tank from a U.S. military garage sale? Let me just say that there is no need or reason for assault weapons other then to kill mass amounts of people. No one needs an assault weapon to defend themselves unless they live in Fallujah, Iraq. And no one needs an assault weapon to go hunting. There wouldn't be any meat left to eat if you killed a deer with one of these things. You'd be biting bullets more then meat. I think its ironic that we are STILL looking for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq while we are about to flood the American streets with guns of mass destruction. On the issue, John Kerry today said, "Today George Bush made the job of terrorists easier and made the job of America's law enforcement officers harder and that's just plain wrong." http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2004-09-12-weapons-ban_x.htm?POE=NEWISVA I concure future President Kerry. Bush certainly does not act like the President of the United States. I guess we now know that he is actually the President of the National Rifle Association and their lobbyists are his true administration.

Painting: Veil of God. This is a painting I did a few months back about the mystical nature of God or the Infinite One or whatever you want to call the energy that keeps everything going. The eye is symbolic of this elusive nature of the Great Mystery. It symbolizes how we can often only see one aspect of the Divine One at any one moment. We see a flower or we see a sunset but we do not see the totality of God in one concise picture of image. And yet the universe can be seen in such things as an eye or a mathmatical equation or that little yellow flower outside your window. Purple was chosen because in many cultures it is the color of both royalty and Divinity.  Posted by Hello

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Death Penalty

I am very much against it and I was just recently reminded of why when I tuned into Larry King Live on CNN the other day. I was watching the story of Ken Marsh and how he had spent 21 years of his life in jail for allegedly killing his girlfriends 2 year old child. Well, it turns out that the man was INNOCENT!! http://www.truthinjustice.org/ken-marsh.htmCan you imagine spending 21 years of your life in prison knowing the whole time that you are innocent?!

This is just one of the many reasons why we need to end the death penalty in America. The system is too imperfect. There are too many examples of people being wronfully convicted to risk killing an innocent man/woman. Take for example the state of Illinois. 13 men have been found innocent and freed from death row since 1977 http://www.truthinjustice.org/exonerated.htm.
Then there is Nick Yarris. He was released from death row this year after spending 42 years in prison! He was cleared over finding new DNA evidence. http://talkleft.com/new_archives/004982.html

Approximately 118 countries have abolished the death penalty and yet the United States is one of the only countries left on the infamous list of those who continue this barbaric practice. This list includes China, Iran, (United States) and Vietnam. These four countries account for 84% of the executions recorded by Amnesty International in 2003. http://www.amnestyusa.org/abolish/index.do
I find it ironic that Gov. Bush calls a country like Iran an "evil" country and yet both countries are in the Top 5 of the list of countries who execute the most people. Its time America, to end this heathen practice.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Coldplay in my Radiohead

I just finished making this compliation of songs from Radiohead and Coldplay. I find that both of these bands speak to the feelings and struggles that I experience in dealing with schizoaffective. Radiohead especially has a sound that is just so very reassuring and I can relate to a lot of the sounds and feelings produced in their songs. Their blips and clicks, etc. are similar to the sounds that I sometimes hear in my own head. The over-all feeling of their songs to me is one of relating to the struggles that humans sometimes have with their emotions and life in general. When ever I need some "comfort" music I go for Radiohead and/or Coldplay. The other thing about Radiohead and Coldplay is that they are on the cutting edge of creativity. They are not afraid to go in new and different directions to express their ideas, music and over-all art. They are such an inspiration to me. I always have very creative painting sessesions whenever I listen to them while painting. I highly recommend Radiohead and Coldplay for those who have never heard them and are looking for something new and different. I'd start with Radiohead first if you want the more different of the two. That's just my opinion though. You couldn't go wrong though by starting with Coldplay.

Random thoughts

Well, here we are at another anniversary of September 11th 2000. I'm not going to get into this too much but I will say that I have deep sympathy for the family members of those who were killed. Especially the children left behind. That must be a terrible burden to carry for anyone, let alone a child. I hope today that the families can find peace and serenity.

In other news...I've added a message forum to the blog titled, "Group Therapy message board." You'll find the link on the bottom right of the screen. Feel free to ask me questions there or start you're own threads about anything and everything on your mind.

On the painting front...I've got a new idea that I can't get out of my mind and i'll add pictures to the blog as soon as I finish it.

Well, not much else to say today right now so i'll wrap this up.
Take care everyone.

-james

Friday, September 10, 2004

Some of my favorite movies

These movies are in no particular order after, The Big Lebowski. They also represent only a fraction of my favorite movies. I don't think i'd be able to list them all on this blog. The Big L is indeed my favorite movie and I have seen it over one hundred times. Its my favorite movie because it makes me laugh hysterically like a mental patient with rabies! I love just about any movie written by the Cohen Brothers. Their writting is just so fluid and smart. Anyway...on with the list!

Comedies:
The Big Lewbowski

Big Trouble-VERY funny movie with several famous actors/actresses. The plot line has some hillarious twists

Office Space-Hysterical movie about working in an office job. Anyone who has had to work in an office will love this movie! I recommend it to anyone though.

Oh Brother Where Art Thou-Another witty fun, funny and witty film by the Cohen Brothers. George Clooney does a wondeful job playing his character. Its a movie about the adventures of 3 escaped convicts in the depression era.

Bubble Boy-About a boy who lives in a germ-free bubble in his room and how he finally breaks out using his portable bubble suit to see the world for the first time. A bit twisted I guess but funny stuff all the same.

Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrells-Debut film of Madonna's husband, Guy Richie. This is another witty film. Its kind of like a British, "Pulp Fiction" in my opinion but funnier.

Shanghai Noon-Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. That's all I have to say.
Shanghai Knights-(see comment for Shanghai Noon lol)

Pulp Fiction-Classic Tarantino flick. More of a dark comedy but funny all the same.

Jackie Brown-I personally think this is Q.Tarantino's best comedy. Its a great plot line and some very funny dark comedy.

Dumb and Dumber-So dumb its hillarious.

The Full Monty-Great British comedy. Another witty, well-written film.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America-Classic Beavis and Butt-Head. If you loved the cartoon then you'll love this one. Again...so dumb its side-splittingly funny.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas-This flick would probably rank second for favorite comedy. Classic story of Hunter S. Thompson's drug-hazed escapades and one of Johnny Depp's best performances.

The Vacation movies-My favorites in this order: European Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Vacation (the original) and Vegas Vacation. Classic American "slap-stick" comedy.

Election-Very funny, smart movie about the high school years.

The Burbs-Classic Tom Hanks. His funniest performance.

Best in Show-Hysterical mockumentary about dog show's, dogs and their owners.

Drama:
The Last Samurai-A beautiful movie about the way of the Samurai with some Buddhist influences. I was surprised at how well Tom Cruise did here. It's a wonderful movie.

Fight Club-Yeah, I know its a twisted movie but either you love it or you hate it. Plus, I had to add it since it is FULL of mental illness. I think this is a classic movie about mental illness and living in our modern "throw away" society.

American Beauty-An amazing film. It's sad but has a great message of living each day to its fullest. You just have to see it if you haven't.

Goodfellas-Classic mafia ganster flick.

Pi-Dark, hyperkinetic movie about a paranoid mathematician searching for a key number which will unlock the universal patterns found in nature

A Beautiful Mind-Wow. Having schizoaffective disorder I could really relate to this movie. Great movie to help understand the struggles of mental illness in general.

Run Lola Run-Hypnotic German action/drama about the importance of living each moment to the fullest. A few minutes can literally change your life forever.

Lost in Translation-Best performance of Bill Murray's career. Should have one the oscar for this movie but he did win the Golden Globe. This is technically a dark comedy but its also full of mental drama.

Chocolat-A beautiful story of change and becoming open to new things.

Casablanca-An uber-classic. Probably the best movie ever made. Humphrey Bogart...Ingrid Bergman. What else can you say?

Millers Crossing-Great gangster movie from the Cohen Brothers.

*Wow this is getting to be a long post. I'll just leave it there. Perhaps I'll add more later to a second post.


Thursday, September 09, 2004

The drug store is open!

Hey...glad you all like my ranting and raving on the blog. If you don't like some of the posts...stick around. I'm sure there will something you'll agree with eventually lol. I plan on talking about everything under the sun but the good old taboos of mental health, politics and religion will be the three constants. I will probably also be talking a lot soon about my denver broncos football team! lol. I just updated the blog about my most recent trip to granpa pdoc's house.
My pdoc decided not to go with Lamictal. Instead he wants me to take Trileptal. I started last night (i know its early) but i'm cautiously optimistic about it. Seems to help me get to sleep but its a light feeling of groggy i think. Anyway, I'm also taking Celexa now for the chronic depression. I'm only taking 10mg which my doctor said is the dosage for children. Today i've been in a GREAT mood but not TOO "up." I hope i'll be able to keep taking it because i've had no luck at all with the depression until now. My new pdoc said that I could go down to 5mg if I get to feeling too "up" on 10. As for the Risperdal...I am taking 1mg and it is a good dose for me. I LOVE Risperdal!! Its the best anti-psychotic out there in my opinion. It does leave me a bit groggy in the a.m. so I just try and take it earlier in the evening like 6. The Risperdal is the best thing I have found to cut through the paranoia, delusion and hallucinations. Ativan is also good for my anxiety and panic attacks. Both Risperdal and Ativan I find to be fairly fast acting.

I can tie my own shoes now..haha..(joke).
-james

Celexa is working GREAT!!

Well, this morning was the first morning of taking the 10 mg of Celexa for the pervasive low-level depression. It seems to be working well with my body and I have been in a good, positive and happy mood all day long. Its a good mood but not too energetic (like bordering on manic). This seems to be a good dose for my depression but it might be too early to tell since today is only my first day taking it. If I find myself getting too "UP" on it then the doc said we'll cut back to 5mg. I was concerned about taking ANY amount of anti-depressant since it traditionally will trigger mania but so far so good with this low dosage of Celexa. I recommend it to others with bipolar or schizoaffective in the treatment of depression. Ask your doctor about it. My doctor said it is a mild anti-depressant...not a "super soaker" a.d. I am basically taking such a low level that the doctor told me it was the dosage they give kids! Anyway, it was a good day and I am hopeful that the Celexa (along with the new Trileptal) will be the missing elements that will give me the "cocktail" that works for me. As always...may your day be bright and full of love and peace. Don't let go of the light and take care...

-james

3rd doctor's visit

Well, yesterday I went in for my 3rd visit with my new doctor. It went really well and I am just so impressed with this doctor. I have been to 5 different pdocs and he is by far the best one yet. His official diagnosis is that I have schizoaffective disorder (depressed type) with A.D.D
He is starting me on 300mg of the mood stabilizer Trileptal and on 10mg of Celexa for the depression. I am going to stay on the 1mg of Risperdal and keeping the 2-4mg of Ativan for anxiety. The doctor also said that my condition is a little more volatile due to the concussions I had as a kid. Anway, I'll keep you all up to date about how the medications is going. Today is the first day and so far so good!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Cheney is insane

Dick Cheney said the other day that voting a democrat into office would invite terrorists to attack America again! http://www.voanews.com/article.cfm?objectID=7C1A5C2C-6CCB-42C7-9398BAE029147529&title=Democrats%20in%20Congress%20Blast%20VP%20Cheney%20Over%20Terrorism%20RemarkDoes he honestly think that a democrat would be soft on terror?! Al Gore would have gone after the terrorists in Afghanistan just as Bush had. John Kerry would fight terrorism with just as much vigor as Gov. Bush. The difference is that he probably would not have taken us into the Iraqi mess. John Kerry would fight terrorism with just as much vigor as Gov. Bush. And to assume other wise is to engage in worst type of slanderous demagoguery. I think Cheney needs to apologize for making such an absurd statement (shakes head).

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Mysticism

Mysticism would probably be the box I would check if i had to compartmentalize my spiritual beliefs. What is mysticism you might ask? Well, I would not even begin to suppose that I am important enough to give a concrete definition of what mysticism "means." Certainly the human languages are an inadequate and crude tool to difine the great mystery of the Infinite One (or God if you want to name it that way). In the end, there is really no way of explaining the unexplainable but here comes my best effort in explaining what mysticism means for me. Mysticism is looking at a leaf and seeing the entire universe pulse in its veins. Mysticism is looking beyond the stars and seeing the true Self. It is a process and way of life where one can know the Infinite Higher Self in a deep, personal and all-encompassing manner. The different religions of the world are simply different threads in the over all blanket that is God. No one thread makes up the blanket. God is in everyone and in everything. Nothing is outside the realm of the Infinite One. Everything has an opposite. Taoism is a beautiful way of explaining this balance with the symbol of the yin and yang. Day and night...black and white...fire and water. And yet there is a subtle layer between the two sides. A layer of gray which can be seen as the blending of all sides and facets into the One. The mystic embraces man's true nature of unity and harmony with all other forms and substances of existence. The mystic understands that labels and definitions are hallucinations which claim a lack of interconnectivity. All events and actions are interconnected and each breath literally can be felt by every other thing in existence. Our actions are not in a vacuum...when we pick up one end of the stick we pick up the entire stick. Our ego is under the impression that our energy is seperate from the Divine spark and therefore we cling to transitory attachments as the Buddhists speak of. Everyone must go through the process of embracing the mystic alone. A teacher or guru can only take us so far. They can only take us to the edge of the darkness but we must take the leap of faith through the unknown and into the Light. There is no one that can do the work for us. We must embrace our fears and attachments that we might be liberated and united with the universal Force of the Great Mystery. The mystic looks beyond the ordinary and finds the extrordinary in all things. Soon the mystic finds love emerging as the main power of the Infinite One. Love is the only language that can even come somewhat close to expressing the fullness of the One. The mystic is born out of death. The death of old, antiquated ways of thinking is the rebirth into the True mystical Reality of existence. The unbounding love and peace of the Great Mystic awaits!

Are we safer?

George W. Bush claims that the world is safer from terrorists since attacking Iraq. Tell that to the people in Russia who have suffered two terrorist inspired airplane hijackings, car bombs and the school massacre. All in the space of a few weeks.

Before the war, Iraq was not exactly known for its terrorists. Saddam Hussein was a dictator who would not have tolerated terrorists running around his country. Saddam was a secularist dictator who felt threatened by religious fundamentalists. That is why he oppressed the Iraqi Shia so extensively. He wanted to prevent a religous revolution that would over-throw him as leader of Iraq. This is partly why there was no strong connection between Saddam Hussein and the Islamic fundamentalist Osama bin Laden. Osama saw Hussein as a corrupt secularist who needed to go just as much as any western leader. We have actually done bin Laden a favor by over-throwing Saddam Hussein. We have created a vacuum in Iraq which is now being filled by Islamic fundamentalist terrorists.

The Iraqi war has created more terrorists in Iraq. Iraq has been turned into a terrorist's mecca or Disneyland because they want to fight the "evil Americans" since we are seen as occupying a holy land to these fundamentalists. Not to mention that the events of the war (especially the abu ghraib prison abuse) have acted as motivation for others to join the ranks of the terrorists.

George W. Bush is a reckless cowboy who has jeopardized the safety of the entire world with his "shoot first and ask questions later" policies.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Eliminating debt in the under-developed world

Africa is in a terrible cycle (as is most of the post-colonial developing world). The cycle goes a little something like this: African countries were split up and ransacked by western colonial countries and by other compeating ethnic groups of their natural resources and much of their population. This went on for approx. 300 years before slavery was outlawed and independence granted. Africans finally had their political independence but the infrastructure left was inadequate and their "cash-crop" economies were devastated. The local currency often dropped very low in value and inflation took off. Civil wars also helped create a devestated and stunted economic picture in the 1970s and 80s. Not to mention the corrupt government officials who learned their greedy and exploitive ways from their colonial fathers and task-masters. Then, neo-colonialism came into fashion as former colonial powers offered massive, high-interest loans to these newly independent African countries. These African countries then became depended on the money coming from America and Europe to survive. These countries have, however, run into major problems maintaining a strong and vibrante work-force population. This has crippled their ability to pay-back these gigantic debts. The lack of infrastructure or funding to these countries often left the masses under-educated on the issues of: industrialization, globalization and HIV/AIDS. HIV/AIDS has ravaged the African work force which makes it all the more difficult for these countries to build up industry and captial to pay-off these huge debts. Thus, more money is often borrowed in order to keep the countries economy a float. Plus, any money that is made in these governments often goes towards paying only the interest on these loans and that makes it difficult for these countries to build up any kind of savings to lift themselves out of poverty. The continued poverty then frustrates different ethnic groups and civil war often erupts out of anxiety and fear. The whole country then is usually forced down into utter devastation. And the whole cylce starts over again.

I feel that the only solution is to wipe out the massive debts that these countries are enslaved under (Bono from U2 is on-board with this idea). Give them a fresh start...or better yet...A start. Most of these countries have NEVER really been given a fresh and honest start to independence in the modern world. The west does not need the money as bad as these other countries do. It's time to level the playing field. Its time to give back what was taken.

America the Bamboozled

8 United States Marines were killed today in Iraq and yet Gov. George W. Bush enjoys an 11 point lead in the latest Newsweek national polls. Do not panic America. Do NOT become bamboozled by these numbers. The biggest problem here is in the polls themselves. A different poll puts the Bush/Cheney post-RNC bounce at only 3 points. Yet another poll has the election still locked in a tie. What's the lesson here? Do NOT trust most of the polls that are vomited out of the media on a near semi-daily basis. I didn't even trust the polls that were saying Kerry had a lead. Most of these polls only include some 500-1000 people. That is a terrible tool to use to conclude the political leanings of a country of some 300 million people. Frankly, the truth is that this election will not be decided in September or October. This election will be decided only after the dust settles and all the votes are counted. This country, however, can not take another election like 2000. If GW gets elected ... Lori and I might just move to Canada, Europe or Australia...ha..ha.

Hermit Park

Just got back from camping up at Hermit Park near the little town of Estes Park, CO. Its a place that I have camped at many times when I was younger and I have always had fond memories of. My brother and I built a little fort up there years ago and I wanted to look and see if it was still there but we didn't have the time. We took the tent but it was nice to have the car with us so that we could bring more stuff from home like a cooler, etc. I haven't been camping in a while and I wasn't use to having people camped in the same area as us but we still had our privacy. For the past 10-12 years I have been backpacking way-out up in the back woods so I had to re-adjust to the style of camping but it was fun. We went with our good friends and it was really nice to be able to just sit out in nature, build a fire and relax with them. Yesterday we went on a hike up to some old homesteads and checked out the old, run-down cabins and lots of rusted, twisted metal pieces. Being a history guy I was fascinated with looking into the old cabins and seeing things pretty much intact inside. Old cups still on tables, stoves still sitting on the floor. You could even still see the color of paint on some of the boards. It looks as if someone had just gotten up and left everything as-is. History is fascinating to me. Anyway, that's what i've been up to the last few days. And the reason why I haven't posted anything for the last 2 days. I'll post a few pictures later on today. I hope everyone is doing well!

Friday, September 03, 2004

Chili cook-off

*This is one of the funniest stories I have EVER heard in my life. It should have you laughing out loud. Be careful if you have a weak bladder...this story might break the dam!*

CHILI COOK-OFFS NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges,the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who may have lived in Texas, you know how true this is! They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! You will likely want to read this behind closed doors because, if you are like me,you will be howling out loud.

INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy,and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what am I supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. JUDGE TWO: A bean-less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all the beer.

CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. marshmallow is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive. JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers. JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I sh*t myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress,as he is cursing uncontrollably. FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh*t to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Working with a new doctor

How are you doing today? I'm feeling pretty level today actually. I am now working with a new pdoc and hoping that this guy works out to be better then the rest. I seem to go through pdoc's like rolls of toilet paper. Anyway, this guy does a VERY detailed 3 visit in-take and that alone has impressed me greatly. If you're looking for a good pdoc in the northern Colorado area let me know and I'll give you his name. All previous "doctors" i've seen have barely listed to my symptoms before shoving a bunch of pills down my throat and kicking me out the door. And when I'd get some courage and dare to ask further questions I would usually get the, "don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!" look. Well, with this doctor I have finished the first two in-take visits and the 3rd visit will be to discuss medication. I am always nervous about this part because the medications of schizoaffective are often so brutal and rough. Its often like getting a massage from Bruno in the Popeye cartoon in order to work out a kick in your neck. Its gets the job done on your neck but messes up your back and hips in the process and just makes you feel like sh*t in general. Anyway, It looks like I'll be going be sticking with the Risperdal for the schizo stuff. I like how effective Risperdal is on cutting through the paranoia especially but it makes me feel soOo groggy. It makes it very difficult for me to wake up in the morning. I try to wake up but keep falling back asleep for a good hour. Its as if I am under water and am trying to emerge to take a breath but i'm wearing lead choners!(choners translation=underwear) I'm most likely going back on the Lamictal as well. I think I gave up too early on the stuff before. I kicked it to the curb when it was only at the 200mg level and that is the level where most people seem to start seeing results. (sigh) My impatience as usual gets the better of me. I will also probably keep taking the Ativan. This stuff is great for panic/anxiety attacks. It comes on quick and isn't usually too sedating. It has a sweet, sugary flavor to it and can literally be chewed for quicker absorbtion during attacks. This chewable quality has saved my bacon on several occasions since my panic/anxiety attacks usually sneek up on my out of no where like a supra-stealthy ninja. (for more on ninja's check out the following link: You'll get so excited about this website though that you'll flip-out and probably have to be hospitalized so...fare warning. http://www.realultimatepower.net/

Anyway, (I just realized that i've been saying that a lot in this post...my mind is all over the map taking tangents like our president takes liberties with the Constitution! lol. Good ole GW wanting to amend the Constitution to ban gay marriage. What's next for this hallowed document of "hear to fore" rights and freedoms?...an amendment banning people from having sex altogether?) I will keep you all updated on the latest with my medication because I just KNOW that you're all waiting to see what happens next in my supra-uber cool life. (my new favorite cliche words are uber and supra) Hell, I'm sure there is no one even reading this blog. I'm talking to myself in a rusted out Campbell's Soup can. Oh well, at least i'm writing it down and not just talking to myself out loud. I guess that's progess.

Painting: "The Sickness." This can depict any illness/disease but mainly I had depression in mind when doing this one.  Posted by Hello

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Instability

I think one of the worst things about having a mental illness is that feeling of instability in life. I feel as though i am watching my body interact and move through this world without being able to control it very much. Its as though I am barely controling the body and mind in using a worn-down remote control with dying batteries. I string together a few good, positive days and I always get tricked into thinking that such a streak of hope will continue. Then that is almost always dashed by waking up one day with a deep depression and feeling of "what was i thinking?" mentality. Its like I have these good days and they seem like dreams or like I was in a drug induced ecstasy and the reality of the morning sets in with the depression. Everything is so up in the air in my life. I am often told that i am very unpredictable and I always agree. Even I can't predict what the next day (or sometimes hour) will bring. Some days I can stay up all night long despite my med's and other nights I crash at midnight and can't get up again until noon the next day. Its as if my brain is on vacation in a under-developed country and it gets caught up in a coup and even though I am a visitor the crowd does not care and I am forced to go along with the chaos as I am swept up in the wave of revolution.

Tax and spend vs. Cut taxes and spend

I am sitting here listening to Gov. George W. Bush give his acceptance speech tonight at the convention. He is talking about a policy of cutting taxes but rising deficits while he attacks John Kerry's policies of tax and spend. Bush wants to fund the military but cut taxes that would pay for it. He also wants to triple spending for homeland security but cut taxes that would pay for it. He wants to fund our schools so that "no child is left behind" but cut taxes at the same time that would pay for it. The democrat ideal of taxing and spending is a big part of how President Clinton gave us a balanced budget. You can not make a country stronger without taxing and spending that revenue on new programs that uplift poor and strengthen the middle class upon whose backs this country was founded. I'll take the tax and spend days of the Clinton balanced budget over the cut taxes and spend days of the Bush administration which has given us record levels of unemployment and deficit. The key in the tax and spend model is taxing the richest citizens of this country and giving targeted tax cuts to the middle and lower working classes. Anyone making over $100,000 a year should pay the brunt of the taxes in this country. These taxes should be seen by the wealthy as a small price to pay for living in the greatest freedom- loving country in the world. This great democratic country which gave them the very opportunity to acquire that great wealth. After all (as GW Bush says time and time again) freedom isn't free!

Republican Convention

Dick Cheney claimed last night at the convention that John Kerry would be unfit to serve our military as president. John Kerry served two tours of duty in Vietnam and received 3 purple hearts and other medals. I think such appauling attacks should be countered with the records of several of these high-ranking conservative leaders. I find the Cheney attack kind of ironic coming from a man who procured 5 military deferments during the Vietnam War. Five!!

Mr. Cheney was quoted about the deferments as saying, "I had other priorities in the 1960's then military service." Nice Dick...nice. What other priorities? OH!! You mean like making millions of dollars? Here is a list of other Republican notables and their connection to service in the United States military making them "strong" leaders on security: (rolls eyes)

President, George W. Bush, Jr. Job: President, Commander-in-Chief Year Born: 1946 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: Deferment, Texas Air National Guard Currently refers to himself as a "war president".

Vice President, Dick Cheney Job: Vice-President Year Born: 1941 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: "had other priorities", "too busy in the sixties"

Attorney General, John Ashcroft Job: Attorney General Year Born: 1942 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: "held critical job"

Secretatry of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld Job: Secretary of Defense Year Born: 1932 War Avoided: Korea Reason: student deferment Once the shooting stopped , Rummy served as a naval aviator from 1954-57 before beginning his rise to power.

Tom DeLay Job: Representative (R-Tex) Year Born: 1947 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: Deferment According to Tom DeLay, he desperately wanted to fight in Vietnam, but minorities had taken all the well-paying military gigs in order to escape the ghetto, depriving patriotic young men. A relatively unknown DeLay said this in 1988 to a crowd of reporters, one of whom was then prompted to ask, "Who is this idiot?"

Bill O'Reilly Job: Fox "News" commentator Year Born: 1949 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: Deferment

Rush Limbaugh Job: Radio "Personality" Year Born: 1951 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: Various butt problems Name:

Trent Lott Job: Senator (R-Miss.) Year Born: 1941 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: Deferment, Cheerleading

Paul Wolfowitz Job: Deputy Secretary of Defense Year Born: 1944 War Avoided: Vietnam Reason: Student Deferment