Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Seroquel, Lexapro, Car Alarm and My Entourage

Not much going on today. I went to the pdoc and he changed up my meds a bit and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm off the Celexa now and going with 5mg of Lexapro. I guess the Lexapro is a little bit stronger since I've been depressed still. Then he'd added Seroquel 300mg in addition to the Risperdal because I'm fucking loosing it with the paranoia and hallucinations (hmmm...how come I don't get hallucinations of naked women? I also get annoying noises and loud colors/images). Now that I'm taking two anti-psychotic meds (Risperdal and Seroquel) I might start sounding like a child in my posts, i.e. Saying stuff like, "Me happy...(drools on keyboard) and playing constantly with myself (Oh wait. I already do that. Hey, at least I haven't grown hair on my hands and gone blind like I was told I would if I polished the rocket as a kid.)

Anyyyyyway. On with the show.

I was in the parking lot of the pdoc after my appointment and I was going to call my wife concerning this new prescription. Just before I dialed her I locked myself into the car using the key pad with the keys already in the ignition. I did this because I'm a freak and totally paranoid. Anyway, I proceeded to talk to her on the phone and then hung up. I went to start the car and the goddamn alarm went off. I was so anxious and on edge that I bolted straight up in the air like a goddamn cat. I fevorishly hit the panic button on the key pad but the damn thing kept going off. Now, at this point I was seriously considering walking away down the street like I didn't own the car but I knew my wife wouldn't like that idea so I hung in there and kept hitting every botton on the key pad. I was even hitting buttons I new in had nothing to do with the problem. I was turning on the radio, the heat, the wipers, EVERYTHING!! So, there I was sitting in this car with the wipers, radio, heat and everything else going all while the horn was screaming.

FINALLY it shut off and I managed to peel myself off the ceiling of the car. So, then I went to start the engine and the alarm went off AGAIN!! This is the point when I seriously thought about throwing myself out into on-coming traffic to get out of this horrific situation. I could hear people up above in the apartments talking and yelling and I think I managed to get dogs barking all over town. My paranoia bit harder into my brain and I figured these people were planning on killing me. Seriously.

Another thing I considered was hot-wiring the car but I also realized that I did not know how to do that so I was fucked. I don't know what happened at that point because I think I left my body or totally blacked out but when I came to again the horn was off and I somehow got the car started without problem. I promptly sped off but my heart was exploding and my genitals had crawled up into my nasal cavities.

Good god. I'm shaking like a crack head just writing this all out. Goddamn no wonder I need 5 different medications just to drag my ass out of bed and get out the door. Well, getting out the door on a regular basis will probably require draggin around an I.V. of Valium, Ecstacy and Red Bull. Now that you mention it these are the following people I would need in my "entourage:" (this is probably misspelled but ya know what? At this point it doesn't really matter if you get annoyed with me for misspelling a word. Especially since I've told you just about every personal/private thing in my life. If you think I'm a freak show, psycho then you've probably moved on already so fuck it).

Anyway, on with the list: My wife, my lawyer, a nurse, a body guard, some bass ass rappers,* my shrink, a drug dealer,* My cool postman Diego, at least one midget,* a cop (to calm people when I begin to play with myself and smell my ear wax in public) and Jenna Jameson*

*These people are probably not critical for me leaving the door on a regular basis. I just feel that they must be apart of any group associated with me that would be called an "entourage."

Annnnnd....

I'm done.

---End of Transmission---

9 comments:

Kitten said...

ahhhhhh...technology. makes you wish for the day when you could just bend a coat hanger and pop the switch.

I once called onstar and asked them the time.
I dont recommend doing this. they were not ammused.

hope you get some relief with the new scripts, j. it has to be the exact combo sometimes....

um..youll get notices with THAT entouarge fer sure!

baybee_doll said...

*hugs* i love you james. can i maybe, pretty please borrow jenna for like..two days? i'll give her back i promise. lol

blondzila said...

Paranoia sucks big time. I get it a fair bit, and don't want them to give me more APs. I hate the Seroquel as it is. Good luck! Let us know how it works out.

Kate said...

(((((HUGS)))))
More tomorrow ...

L.L.E. said...

don't be goofy. i'm always here for you.

james said...

Aww Thanks for the love everyone.
Baby_Doll you can just join my entourage and keep Jenna company all that your heart desires!

james said...

Kitten: Yeah, I'm kind of terrified by "On Star." I am worried that they are tracking me all over town so I think that part of me wants to refuse to buy a car with that option in it.

L: I have to be goofy with a day like that! hehe. Anyway, thanks for being there for me.

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